video of Rebekah Leah, an aerial artist
danced to a song by Shawn McDonald--"Beautiful"
Lately I’ve been thinking about hope and what it is. I’ve been trying to understand if it is meant to be this bedrock, this ever fixed mark, firm. Or if it something else entirely. Though it is more likely a blend, a weave, a multitude of ideas and truths, because in my study of the Bible, rarely is a concept like hope simply one thing. If there were a conceptual biblical dictionary, hope would have more than one entry, all of them true. This has been an unfolding message in my heart and mind, especially for this 2009 year. And, true to my naïveté, it has been a series of lessons far beyond my ability to have foreseen.
Previously, for me hope has been sort-of synonymous with wishing, or dreaming...as likely to happen as not, easily dashed. Example: I wish/hope for x, y, & z presents for Christmas. I make a list and share with Mom. Christmas morning, under the tree sits boxes and boxes of possibilities, each with a chance to fulfill hopes. Some years x, y, & z were there; other years only x & z, others only y, then there were the years where with all the boxes opened q, b, & l appeared. So some hopes came true, others not, sometimes none of them, and sometimes the none at all turned out to be the best gifts of all. (And, keep in mind this is just an analogy, not a verbatim. Truthfully Christmases are some of my most treasured memories.)
As I got older this idea of hope has seemed more and more flimsy or fragile. Life threw a series of hardships my way and I struggled to insert ‘hope’ into it. By this time, I’d already learned that hope was so much more than positive thinking, or dreaming, or wish-listing. However, it still seemed such a mystery, hard to grasp, hard to decrypt.
Recently (being sometime within the last month), I was listening to a series of sermons on CD, messages from the church that I attend. In one message, one point struck and stuck. And it was this, that sometimes Christians treat grace as if it is a lump sum bequeathed on you (like an allowance), after which you have the ability to spend it; yet, the pastor contended that perhaps it is not, perhaps the reality is that when God promises that His grace will be sufficient it is more immediate, grace for the moment, for the day. The pastor used the story of the bread and manna that appeared to the Israelites during their 40 year trek through the desert. Bread and birds/meat would appear every morning, and each person was only to take what they needed for that day…no back packs or refrigerators, or storage closets to cram full and then dispense out, nope, just what was needed for the day. He then went on to discuss how most of us feel more comfortable with the full closet concept…a huge reserve in the bank that we can budget out as we see fit, that there seems to be a nervousness that creeps in when you only have enough for the day, the hour, the moment. The pastor also spoke to the story in the bible about the famine that was so intense a woman was preparing her last meal with her son, because there was no other food to be had in the entire country…all she had was a little jar, with just a little oil, and a little flour…and a prophet came to stay with her, asking to share her meal. (Do you know this one, where each day this group of 3 use up all the contents of the jar, and the next day they awake to find the jars have been filled—not to capacity, just enough for the day, and it goes on like this for years.) Why then, is it that, he wondered, when the giver of the grace is God are we nervous, anxious, doubtful when we are given only a little (a daily ration) rather than a meat-locker full? Do we fear He’ll run out? Do we fear He’ll forget us? Do we fear He’ll change His mind and leave us high and dry? And doesn’t God deserve the benefit of the doubt?
A leap occurred in my head, from grace to hope. (Not immediate mind you…it’s been several weeks now…possibly even as far back as months). Anyway, last night I felt this hope instilled within me, and it took me by surprise, I wasn’t aware of the process until the end result...very much like the process of instilling (drop by drop), drop by drop might not seem like a lot, contextually though, the end result, has a different effect. The hope was wonderful, a blessed relief from the struggle against depression and despair…but as I sat a little dazed, testing this ‘hope’ out. How far would it go? How long would it last? How fragile was it? It didn’t seem like I’d been handed a mountain, a fixed mark…not a huge lump sum. It was no less real, no less welcomed, no less powerful. So there it was again…the original conundrum…is hope this permanent idea I’m failing to attain, or a fleeting fragility, or something else?
Then the leap…what if hope is like grace? I certainly didn’t earn the hope. I didn’t seek it out. I didn’t deserve it. It was given. It was more than an abundant answer to a question I didn’t even realized I’d asked. Do you ever have those days/weeks/months where it just takes everything you have to survive…that you’ve long since ceased asking for grandiose extras? That is where I was. Head down, surviving. So if hope is more like grace…it will be sufficient…it will be what it needs to be for the time…it then also is a bedrock truth, a constant, infinite. And yes, there are days where what I hope in is solid, unshakable, a proverbial mountain…and even more is the reality that more permeates my daily life: hope can be sufficient for that moment, that day…not meant to be stored up, but used that day. The giver is God. He loves me. I can count on Him. He has goodness in store for me, and He knows my needs, and He knows my dreams. It is enough. Enough…not like my version…where it is just enough to survive, to get by, to eek out…His version is much more. His enough includes grace, hope, and abundance.
Now all that’s left is to trust Him, to receive and rest. And, in the morning His mercies will be new…and there will be manna for the day.
58:11:1—Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
19:42:1-2, 5, 11—Psalms 42:1-2 (because they are my favorites), 5, 11 (because the word hope appears..there's a proximity...a pleading/a reminder & it is repeated)
1-2 As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come and appear before my God?
5 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.
11 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, the help of His presence.
19:43:5—Psalms
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, the help of His presence.
19:130:7—Psalms
O Israel, hope in the Lord; For with the Lord there is lovingkindness, and with Him is abundant redemption
45:5:1-5—Romans
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
51:1:3-5, 22-23, 27—Colossians
3-5 We give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and the love which you have for all the saints; because of the hope laid up for you in heaven, of which you previously heard in the word of truth, the gospel
22-23 yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach-- if indeed you continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the gospel that you have heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, was made a minister.
27 to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
47:12:9—2 Corinthians
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
25:3:22-24—Lamenations
The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."
Previously, for me hope has been sort-of synonymous with wishing, or dreaming...as likely to happen as not, easily dashed. Example: I wish/hope for x, y, & z presents for Christmas. I make a list and share with Mom. Christmas morning, under the tree sits boxes and boxes of possibilities, each with a chance to fulfill hopes. Some years x, y, & z were there; other years only x & z, others only y, then there were the years where with all the boxes opened q, b, & l appeared. So some hopes came true, others not, sometimes none of them, and sometimes the none at all turned out to be the best gifts of all. (And, keep in mind this is just an analogy, not a verbatim. Truthfully Christmases are some of my most treasured memories.)
As I got older this idea of hope has seemed more and more flimsy or fragile. Life threw a series of hardships my way and I struggled to insert ‘hope’ into it. By this time, I’d already learned that hope was so much more than positive thinking, or dreaming, or wish-listing. However, it still seemed such a mystery, hard to grasp, hard to decrypt.
Recently (being sometime within the last month), I was listening to a series of sermons on CD, messages from the church that I attend. In one message, one point struck and stuck. And it was this, that sometimes Christians treat grace as if it is a lump sum bequeathed on you (like an allowance), after which you have the ability to spend it; yet, the pastor contended that perhaps it is not, perhaps the reality is that when God promises that His grace will be sufficient it is more immediate, grace for the moment, for the day. The pastor used the story of the bread and manna that appeared to the Israelites during their 40 year trek through the desert. Bread and birds/meat would appear every morning, and each person was only to take what they needed for that day…no back packs or refrigerators, or storage closets to cram full and then dispense out, nope, just what was needed for the day. He then went on to discuss how most of us feel more comfortable with the full closet concept…a huge reserve in the bank that we can budget out as we see fit, that there seems to be a nervousness that creeps in when you only have enough for the day, the hour, the moment. The pastor also spoke to the story in the bible about the famine that was so intense a woman was preparing her last meal with her son, because there was no other food to be had in the entire country…all she had was a little jar, with just a little oil, and a little flour…and a prophet came to stay with her, asking to share her meal. (Do you know this one, where each day this group of 3 use up all the contents of the jar, and the next day they awake to find the jars have been filled—not to capacity, just enough for the day, and it goes on like this for years.) Why then, is it that, he wondered, when the giver of the grace is God are we nervous, anxious, doubtful when we are given only a little (a daily ration) rather than a meat-locker full? Do we fear He’ll run out? Do we fear He’ll forget us? Do we fear He’ll change His mind and leave us high and dry? And doesn’t God deserve the benefit of the doubt?
A leap occurred in my head, from grace to hope. (Not immediate mind you…it’s been several weeks now…possibly even as far back as months). Anyway, last night I felt this hope instilled within me, and it took me by surprise, I wasn’t aware of the process until the end result...very much like the process of instilling (drop by drop), drop by drop might not seem like a lot, contextually though, the end result, has a different effect. The hope was wonderful, a blessed relief from the struggle against depression and despair…but as I sat a little dazed, testing this ‘hope’ out. How far would it go? How long would it last? How fragile was it? It didn’t seem like I’d been handed a mountain, a fixed mark…not a huge lump sum. It was no less real, no less welcomed, no less powerful. So there it was again…the original conundrum…is hope this permanent idea I’m failing to attain, or a fleeting fragility, or something else?
Then the leap…what if hope is like grace? I certainly didn’t earn the hope. I didn’t seek it out. I didn’t deserve it. It was given. It was more than an abundant answer to a question I didn’t even realized I’d asked. Do you ever have those days/weeks/months where it just takes everything you have to survive…that you’ve long since ceased asking for grandiose extras? That is where I was. Head down, surviving. So if hope is more like grace…it will be sufficient…it will be what it needs to be for the time…it then also is a bedrock truth, a constant, infinite. And yes, there are days where what I hope in is solid, unshakable, a proverbial mountain…and even more is the reality that more permeates my daily life: hope can be sufficient for that moment, that day…not meant to be stored up, but used that day. The giver is God. He loves me. I can count on Him. He has goodness in store for me, and He knows my needs, and He knows my dreams. It is enough. Enough…not like my version…where it is just enough to survive, to get by, to eek out…His version is much more. His enough includes grace, hope, and abundance.
Now all that’s left is to trust Him, to receive and rest. And, in the morning His mercies will be new…and there will be manna for the day.
58:11:1—Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
19:42:1-2, 5, 11—Psalms 42:1-2 (because they are my favorites), 5, 11 (because the word hope appears..there's a proximity...a pleading/a reminder & it is repeated)
1-2 As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come and appear before my God?
5 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.
11 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, the help of His presence.
19:43:5—Psalms
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, the help of His presence.
19:130:7—Psalms
O Israel, hope in the Lord; For with the Lord there is lovingkindness, and with Him is abundant redemption
45:5:1-5—Romans
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
51:1:3-5, 22-23, 27—Colossians
3-5 We give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and the love which you have for all the saints; because of the hope laid up for you in heaven, of which you previously heard in the word of truth, the gospel
22-23 yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach-- if indeed you continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the gospel that you have heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, was made a minister.
27 to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
47:12:9—2 Corinthians
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
25:3:22-24—Lamenations
The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."
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