New Year's Eve....
The closing of 2013 and moving forward into 2014 and all that waits ahead. As I sit here with some music in the background, and the candle light flickering that I find myself resuming an old tradition of mine. I'm not sure where or why I let it fall by the wayside, but my little new year's celebration is like greeting an old friend.
My favorite way to spend the evening on the cusp on a new year is to sit at home and reflect on the year that is passing away and reflect on what I anticipate from the coming year. So many things about this year were unanticipated, so many surprises, so many challenges/tribulations, and yes so many blessings....there is a lot to be grateful for. And each time I've done this I am constantly amazed at how fast time flies. And sometimes the reflections take me beyond the year just coming to an end to the ones that stack up behind it. :) And sometimes I remember dreams of old that have come true and stand amazed. And this gives me such hope for the year ahead and I wonder about the many surprises ahead....
In years past I have often felt a "theme" for the year ahead being revealed to me during these moments of reflection...and usually they have proven true (or at least for me)...I have a list of previous themes written down...and some of them make me laugh as I remember them and then of course the outcomes. I don't subscribe to the idea of "self fulfilling prophecy" ....no, not at all...if that were true then I would self-fulfill myself into much different situations... LOL
However, I am a person of faith. If this is too much a stretch for you the reader, then think of it more as the psychological truth that people see the connections they expect to so my themes could be my brain setting the groundwork or framework to correlate the events to come to a specific theme. But truthfully, I do believe in a living relationship with God, as real as any friend you could call on a cell phone and who listens, guides, directs and cares for me. So I always see these themes that are revealed as just another conversation, and one with the One who knows that I love surprises but I also love to KNOW....LOL...and so I believe He knows that if He told me all of what was to come it would most likely fry my brain so He gives me a nugget, just enough of a sneak peek that I am intrigued to move into the adventures to come rather than running from them.
So as I sat down tonight, a little earlier than usual as I am dragging today with a lingering cold...so even though it wasn't the true countdown of midnight I wasn't expecting such a good conversation. But I was strongly drawn to an old favorite verse in the Bible....one that I have always loved....and so the conversation did begin.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
And then...the next verse just popped into my head...but I had to look up the reference to get the full context...and a little laugh. :)
Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we also have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
....the theme for 2014 is Hope. I strongly feel 2014 will be the year of hope.
And as I read the context of Romans, I had to laugh a little...tribulations, yep been there and done that....was I thankful...not at the time, if I am being honest. Perseverance...well....there are some who would tell you I was born stubborn....lol so it is only natural that I persevered but the truth is some of the tribulations have really been tough ones...to the point of breaking and beyond...so perseverance has a new context for me...and not just hinting at the fact that I was born stubborn and have proven consistent to that characteristic. And hope....I'll be honest I've always struggled with that one. What makes hope different than wishful thinking? The Bible in other places talks about hope as if it isn't a question the way wishful thinking is...will I get XYZ in this Christmas present? (And sometimes you do and sometimes you don't). No, the Bible talks about hope as if it something you are assured of gaining, as if hope is more a promise. Then maybe my issue with hope has been that I've been let down by people in the past and it is hard to trust in "hope" because you just never know when someone will come through for you and when they'll leave you standing in the cold. But I guess that is the difference....this is hope, or a promise, from God. And He is trustworthy...and He does not disappoint.
My other challenge is to know the difference between desires (I wants...) and the promises. This is much more difficult because it does mean you have to be listening...and sometimes I'm better at talking at God than talking with God (which means part of the conversation is spent listening.) And so understanding the fine line of 'what I want' and 'what is being promised' is definitely an exercise regime. :) I am reminded of my brother who runs marathons. He doesn't simply wake up the day of the event and go run 26.2 miles...no he spends weeks, months in advance preparing himself to complete the marathon, to be ready to run 26.2 miles on the given day. This aspect of hope is like that...preparing for a marathon. It takes time, it takes some sunshiney mornings and some days filled with rain but slogging through anyway for the end goal. And only time will show who did their prep work and who thought they could skip a few mornings....lol...let's just say I don't feel like a marathon runner physically or spiritually yet, but I am comfortable saying I am most definitely in training.
So I find myself as the minutes expire on 2013 about this idea that 2014 will be the year of hope and have a feeling that some of 2014 will be abundantly amazing and some of it will show to me the differences between wants and promises and so perhaps I will grow stronger...more spiritually fit so to speak...and I find myself anticipating like a child on Christmas eve...the joy of the presents to be unwrapped....the adventure to unfold.
What an amazing gift is life...full of trials and for hope, grace, love, faith, forgiveness, and abundant blessings. :)
For the grand adventures of 2013, many memories to look back on (laugh at, wince at, and be thankful for!)
&
For the adventures ahead.....Welcome 2014!!!
Happy New Year's!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Friday, July 6, 2012
African Savannah by way of Japan
So - first...yes I know Shiba Inu's are a Japanese breed of dog. In fact, when I first read up on the breed one book claimed that the Shiba is like a cat and a dog, so the perfect animal, right? :)
Well I don't know about all that, but what I can tell you is that sometimes when I watch my puppies at play I can see in the little boy a lion who hits with force, ready to take down his sister as she jumps and runs by him like a little gazelle. Trust me, she can fly and leap, and you should watch him do the slow approach, one foot in front of the other, low to the ground...and I dare you not to think about a stalking lion. And...if you are curious, yes little lions can leap too. But watching a gazelle bound through life is one that causes you to smile and cheer her on in the bounding run that makes gravity grasp with desperate claws to one so easily defying it.
However, these Shiba's have mastered the power of shifting/morphing...in one second they are playing predator/prey...or reversing who chases the other...and the next they stop, grin at you like life is the most grand adventure, and they run over to you and include you in a game of chasing after little fuzzy yellow tennis balls. Or they are willing to perform the usual: sit, shake, down, roll-over, and beg for a little doggie biscuit/bone.
Well...on to other adventures...may your days be as full of fun play.
Well I don't know about all that, but what I can tell you is that sometimes when I watch my puppies at play I can see in the little boy a lion who hits with force, ready to take down his sister as she jumps and runs by him like a little gazelle. Trust me, she can fly and leap, and you should watch him do the slow approach, one foot in front of the other, low to the ground...and I dare you not to think about a stalking lion. And...if you are curious, yes little lions can leap too. But watching a gazelle bound through life is one that causes you to smile and cheer her on in the bounding run that makes gravity grasp with desperate claws to one so easily defying it.
However, these Shiba's have mastered the power of shifting/morphing...in one second they are playing predator/prey...or reversing who chases the other...and the next they stop, grin at you like life is the most grand adventure, and they run over to you and include you in a game of chasing after little fuzzy yellow tennis balls. Or they are willing to perform the usual: sit, shake, down, roll-over, and beg for a little doggie biscuit/bone.
Well...on to other adventures...may your days be as full of fun play.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Life & Adventures with Shiba Inu Puppies
So, three months have passed since I last wrote. Life moves so fast these days. The past few months have been full of insane work, business trips, puppy trips to the vet, a friend's newborn, visits with family, being sick -- again, and preparing for the golf charity event to support Down Syndrome...and of course adventures with my precious Shiba Inu Puppies.
I didn't do much writing on the puppies so let me begin there. They after all deserve their own blog, but for the time being we'll share.
Rolo - our boy is: happy go-lucky, ready to play at all times, incredibly curious, good at destroying things, likes to pick on his sister, loves to be near his family (which conversely can make him anxious when we are away), stubborn, a bit OCD, and incredibly soft. I never knew puppies could be so soft...and it's a luxury to pet him...which he loves. He will definitely beg for a belly rub if you even look like you will walk by and acquiesce. He is also incredibly smart! I don't have to spend a long time teaching him anything...now motivation...that's another story. He does like his treats, but as to the rest, I can only attribute that to being a Shiba. Some things are beneath him, and it isn't a matter of him not understanding what I'm asking so much as understanding why he would do the thing I'm asking. And,another interesting quirk for him...another Shiba thing...he does not like being wet, and rain is to him just pure meanness. There was this one time, we woke up to a day of rain....and obviously the last time he'd relieved himself was the night before...my husband thought whether he wanted to or not he'd have to go out. Rolo held it in for 11 hours until the sky had decided to clear up for a few minutes and then he went out. There have been other times when it rained where he would look at me as if to say, 'this is absolute cruelty but a puppy must do what a puppy must do' and then trot himself out and rocket himself back in. The other thing about him is he is the first one to cry, or more accurately scream, if he is in pain. It is like to break your heart. He also will howl if there's something suspicious outside at night. (If you've never heard a Shiba howl - think wolf howl/bray at moon and you'll have a basic idea. Rooo--rooo--rooooooooo) Another thing, I swear there's hidden physics in him. He weighs about 23 pounds now, which is about the full grown weight for a male shiba, but I swear when he comes running at you --- he packs a punch!!! It feels more like a 200 pound dog than a 23 pound dog. Even as a puppy he felt more substantial, like a tank, than his sister. The kids in the neighborhood think he is a German shepherd puppy.
Julie - our girl is: a dainty, independent, curious, precise surgeon, an amazing jumper, good at shifting the blame in play, can be a cute little cuddler, fascinated by vocalizations and birds, regal, reserved, incredibly fast, very stubborn, OCD, and likes to curl up next to you at night or for a little puppy snooze time. She is soft as well, but not as much as Rolo. Also, she is more petite, and more closely resembles a fox than a dog. I've had more than one kid in the neighborhood as if I have a pet fox. Nearly everyone who meets Julie loves her. She also loves other dogs, especially our neighbors dogs, and will always want to approach other dogs. Another of her quirks, Julie will not acknowledge pain until it hits a certain threshold (I've only ever heard her yip like twice in pain.) She is also more quiet, though she is becoming more bold and willing to send up howls for suspicious activity at night. She is not as quick to catch onto new tricks like her brother, but by no means is she stupid. She more so than Rolo seems to evaluate whether or not this thing you are doing is beneath her...she is very royal in this respect. Food will not be a reason to induce her to perform a task or trick unless she wants to do the trick. She is more motivated by praise, but even that only works so much. She will also evaluate a proffered treat just in case it might be trying to poison her. She, like her brother, as well as all Shibas, have an incredibly strong prey drive....she chases bubbles, bugs, butterflies, bunnies, birds...and she doesn't like it at all if you tell her to leave off the chase...this is one of the few times she will respond with a whiney/cry as if to say, 'oooohhhh but it could be fun, let's just chase, pleeeeaaaaasssseeeeeee....'. She doesn't like being wet either, and absolutely abhors baths, and she will hold her business if it is raining, but if she has to venture out because the need demands it she just goes, she doesn't whine about it or throw you guilt-inducing looks. Right now she weighs about 18 pounds, a good weight for a female Shiba...but she like her brother has deceptive physics associated with her....she feels like she weighs 8 pounds not 18...when she was a pup she was like lifting a feather. A quirk for her is that she doesn't like car rides....more times than not she will throw up multiple times. She gets sooooo distressed in car rides, it does break my heart. And I am at a loss for how to make it better for her. I've tried benedryl, and even dramamine...and some med the doctor prescribed, the vet says really the next step is to give her something to knock her out completely. I don't want to go to that level, so I've been trying to take smaller trips (15 min) more frequently to try and help her learn it's ok. Sometimes we have success and sometimes we have a lot of laundry and cleaning to do when we get home.
This dog breed - Shiba Inu - is the most amazing breed...I truly am in love with not just my puppies but the breed itself. I did about two years of research to learn everything I could about the breed...and still every day is a learning experience. My puppies bring me such joy and laughter....it truly makes me humble and overwhelmed to be able to share the lives of these two precious puppies. Most Shiba's are reserved, or very loyal to their owners, and mine are no different. They only let a few people see their tails uncurl, so-to-speak. For instance, my puppies love bubbles...they love to play with, chase, and try and eat them. One day I was walking my puppies and there were these two little girls outside blowing bubbles in the spring breeze. They wanted to pet the puppies and I happened to mention that my puppies love bubbles. Well the girls tried blowing bubbles for the puppies. My two just sat at my feet and looked at me as if to say, 'really?! We don't let just anyone see us chase bubbles.' After a few minutes one of the girls looked at me and questioned, "I thought you said they liked bubbles?" I told her they did, but perhaps my puppies were shy and they might chase them next time. This breed, because it is so reserved can also not be very good with strangers or kids, so I've done my best to expose them to lots of strangers and kids so that they learn it is ok. Most people think they are the greatest dogs ---I think this is because the puppies don't bark at all at strangers. They sniff, allow you to pet, and then wait for me to give them the cue to move on. But I will freely say I this is probably not a breed for everyone. They are smart with amazing memories, they are stubborn, and though they love you, they don't always obey. However, they have such incredible spirits that I think the days that require battle are worth it, and far fewer than the days they just simply fill your life and homes with love. They have opened my eyes and I simply am glad to say Julie and Rolo have opened their hearts to me, and forgive me for the days I'm less than fun. :> There is nothing more incredible than the absolute loyalty, love, faith, and forgiveness of a puppy. I have two. Twice the blessings.
I will have to post more pictures later...but for now...it's time to play with the puppies and already I am smiling.
I didn't do much writing on the puppies so let me begin there. They after all deserve their own blog, but for the time being we'll share.
Rolo - our boy is: happy go-lucky, ready to play at all times, incredibly curious, good at destroying things, likes to pick on his sister, loves to be near his family (which conversely can make him anxious when we are away), stubborn, a bit OCD, and incredibly soft. I never knew puppies could be so soft...and it's a luxury to pet him...which he loves. He will definitely beg for a belly rub if you even look like you will walk by and acquiesce. He is also incredibly smart! I don't have to spend a long time teaching him anything...now motivation...that's another story. He does like his treats, but as to the rest, I can only attribute that to being a Shiba. Some things are beneath him, and it isn't a matter of him not understanding what I'm asking so much as understanding why he would do the thing I'm asking. And,another interesting quirk for him...another Shiba thing...he does not like being wet, and rain is to him just pure meanness. There was this one time, we woke up to a day of rain....and obviously the last time he'd relieved himself was the night before...my husband thought whether he wanted to or not he'd have to go out. Rolo held it in for 11 hours until the sky had decided to clear up for a few minutes and then he went out. There have been other times when it rained where he would look at me as if to say, 'this is absolute cruelty but a puppy must do what a puppy must do' and then trot himself out and rocket himself back in. The other thing about him is he is the first one to cry, or more accurately scream, if he is in pain. It is like to break your heart. He also will howl if there's something suspicious outside at night. (If you've never heard a Shiba howl - think wolf howl/bray at moon and you'll have a basic idea. Rooo--rooo--rooooooooo) Another thing, I swear there's hidden physics in him. He weighs about 23 pounds now, which is about the full grown weight for a male shiba, but I swear when he comes running at you --- he packs a punch!!! It feels more like a 200 pound dog than a 23 pound dog. Even as a puppy he felt more substantial, like a tank, than his sister. The kids in the neighborhood think he is a German shepherd puppy.
Julie - our girl is: a dainty, independent, curious, precise surgeon, an amazing jumper, good at shifting the blame in play, can be a cute little cuddler, fascinated by vocalizations and birds, regal, reserved, incredibly fast, very stubborn, OCD, and likes to curl up next to you at night or for a little puppy snooze time. She is soft as well, but not as much as Rolo. Also, she is more petite, and more closely resembles a fox than a dog. I've had more than one kid in the neighborhood as if I have a pet fox. Nearly everyone who meets Julie loves her. She also loves other dogs, especially our neighbors dogs, and will always want to approach other dogs. Another of her quirks, Julie will not acknowledge pain until it hits a certain threshold (I've only ever heard her yip like twice in pain.) She is also more quiet, though she is becoming more bold and willing to send up howls for suspicious activity at night. She is not as quick to catch onto new tricks like her brother, but by no means is she stupid. She more so than Rolo seems to evaluate whether or not this thing you are doing is beneath her...she is very royal in this respect. Food will not be a reason to induce her to perform a task or trick unless she wants to do the trick. She is more motivated by praise, but even that only works so much. She will also evaluate a proffered treat just in case it might be trying to poison her. She, like her brother, as well as all Shibas, have an incredibly strong prey drive....she chases bubbles, bugs, butterflies, bunnies, birds...and she doesn't like it at all if you tell her to leave off the chase...this is one of the few times she will respond with a whiney/cry as if to say, 'oooohhhh but it could be fun, let's just chase, pleeeeaaaaasssseeeeeee....'. She doesn't like being wet either, and absolutely abhors baths, and she will hold her business if it is raining, but if she has to venture out because the need demands it she just goes, she doesn't whine about it or throw you guilt-inducing looks. Right now she weighs about 18 pounds, a good weight for a female Shiba...but she like her brother has deceptive physics associated with her....she feels like she weighs 8 pounds not 18...when she was a pup she was like lifting a feather. A quirk for her is that she doesn't like car rides....more times than not she will throw up multiple times. She gets sooooo distressed in car rides, it does break my heart. And I am at a loss for how to make it better for her. I've tried benedryl, and even dramamine...and some med the doctor prescribed, the vet says really the next step is to give her something to knock her out completely. I don't want to go to that level, so I've been trying to take smaller trips (15 min) more frequently to try and help her learn it's ok. Sometimes we have success and sometimes we have a lot of laundry and cleaning to do when we get home.
This dog breed - Shiba Inu - is the most amazing breed...I truly am in love with not just my puppies but the breed itself. I did about two years of research to learn everything I could about the breed...and still every day is a learning experience. My puppies bring me such joy and laughter....it truly makes me humble and overwhelmed to be able to share the lives of these two precious puppies. Most Shiba's are reserved, or very loyal to their owners, and mine are no different. They only let a few people see their tails uncurl, so-to-speak. For instance, my puppies love bubbles...they love to play with, chase, and try and eat them. One day I was walking my puppies and there were these two little girls outside blowing bubbles in the spring breeze. They wanted to pet the puppies and I happened to mention that my puppies love bubbles. Well the girls tried blowing bubbles for the puppies. My two just sat at my feet and looked at me as if to say, 'really?! We don't let just anyone see us chase bubbles.' After a few minutes one of the girls looked at me and questioned, "I thought you said they liked bubbles?" I told her they did, but perhaps my puppies were shy and they might chase them next time. This breed, because it is so reserved can also not be very good with strangers or kids, so I've done my best to expose them to lots of strangers and kids so that they learn it is ok. Most people think they are the greatest dogs ---I think this is because the puppies don't bark at all at strangers. They sniff, allow you to pet, and then wait for me to give them the cue to move on. But I will freely say I this is probably not a breed for everyone. They are smart with amazing memories, they are stubborn, and though they love you, they don't always obey. However, they have such incredible spirits that I think the days that require battle are worth it, and far fewer than the days they just simply fill your life and homes with love. They have opened my eyes and I simply am glad to say Julie and Rolo have opened their hearts to me, and forgive me for the days I'm less than fun. :> There is nothing more incredible than the absolute loyalty, love, faith, and forgiveness of a puppy. I have two. Twice the blessings.
I will have to post more pictures later...but for now...it's time to play with the puppies and already I am smiling.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Jagged and Ragged
I can't believe it has been more than six months since I've written. A sure sign that life well is seriously askew. Work from the point of last June only got more intense. As a result, for those that know me well...it won't be a surprise, but I ran myself into the ground. The new year came with all the hopes attached. Mostly I was just glad to put the old project on the shelf of the past and work on something else...as anything else would bound to be easier. Famous last words. So after multiple servings of humble pie, and apropos appetizers to a true crash course in survival I can honestly say this project I am now on at work is by far the hardest. It is eating me alive. I'm still run down, and often feel very jagged and ragged. My heart still hasn't recovered from some of last year's blows and so I'm bruised and battered too...at least emotionally. However, I don't want to necessarily leave an entire blog of complaints so let me just say that one of the greatest joys in my life currently are my Shiba Inus.
I've seriously thought about blogging about that dream coming true and how they have made me laugh and yes scream since they came into my life. However, I've yet to find the time, or if I have time I have no brain cells left. :) They deserve a little coherency. So hopefully I will be able to write...I miss writing...
Anyway, after running a fever all week, and a business trip coming up next week I don't have a lot of energy tonight but I couldn't ignore the blood in me that demands I write...something...or perish.
And to tide you all over until I can write more about my puppies here's a picture from their first moments in my home. We have siblings (twins) :) .... The boy is Rolo. The girl is Julie.
I've seriously thought about blogging about that dream coming true and how they have made me laugh and yes scream since they came into my life. However, I've yet to find the time, or if I have time I have no brain cells left. :) They deserve a little coherency. So hopefully I will be able to write...I miss writing...
Anyway, after running a fever all week, and a business trip coming up next week I don't have a lot of energy tonight but I couldn't ignore the blood in me that demands I write...something...or perish.
And to tide you all over until I can write more about my puppies here's a picture from their first moments in my home. We have siblings (twins) :) .... The boy is Rolo. The girl is Julie.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Where I've been in the silence
Hi world,
If you wonder where I've been in the last little while of silence....most of it isn't glamorous or fun per se...most of it has been at work. My job is either like drinking from a fire hydrant full blast, or it is twiddle the thumbs and ponder the number of holes in the ceiling tiles. I'm in full swing, fire hydrant, full blast no nonsense. I think the last month has been a minimum of 70 hours a week. I've also been working on a charity golf tournament and auction to support Research for Down Syndrome.
Then of course life, and home, and step-mom, and.....lol...yeah....you get the idea.
However, a couple days ago while talking to a friend I laughingly made a snide comment about how I should blog about my rose garden education for people who have black thumbs like me and desperately need more information, or at least the knowledge that there are others out there in the universe like me....most of my friends and family can grow stuff in their sleep with one hand tied behind their backs. 'Just plant it' doesn't work for me, for gardening advice. I do that, the plant dies, and it's sad. So....I've learned a lot over the trial and error of the last two years...and I should blog it. My friend laughed. (She was one of those born with green digits, and the growing elixir in her veins instead of blood. She, I think, is baffled by how complicated it is for me. She thinks about the plant, and it shoots up. So she does her best to assist, but honestly I think I am an oddity in her universe.)
Well, lightning struck, and yesterday...after the migraine 'please shoot me, streaming tears of misery' had cleared...I started writing. I contemplated putting it here, but it's very easy to create a separate site, and I was in a compartmentalization mode....only time will tell if that was smart...or not....
However, if you want to take a look at what I have written and support me....here is where you can find my new, specialized blog....link below....I titled it Rivelare's Garden since this, my main blog is Rivelare and well it's still me sharing and thinking and writing...only about flowers and such :).
http://rivelaresgarden.blogspot.com/
Enjoy...and all the best to you all... :) Drop me a line. Despite my busyness I can usually respond to emails as long as you give me a day or so of grace and don't care if I'm writing it at 2am.
If you wonder where I've been in the last little while of silence....most of it isn't glamorous or fun per se...most of it has been at work. My job is either like drinking from a fire hydrant full blast, or it is twiddle the thumbs and ponder the number of holes in the ceiling tiles. I'm in full swing, fire hydrant, full blast no nonsense. I think the last month has been a minimum of 70 hours a week. I've also been working on a charity golf tournament and auction to support Research for Down Syndrome.
Then of course life, and home, and step-mom, and.....lol...yeah....you get the idea.
However, a couple days ago while talking to a friend I laughingly made a snide comment about how I should blog about my rose garden education for people who have black thumbs like me and desperately need more information, or at least the knowledge that there are others out there in the universe like me....most of my friends and family can grow stuff in their sleep with one hand tied behind their backs. 'Just plant it' doesn't work for me, for gardening advice. I do that, the plant dies, and it's sad. So....I've learned a lot over the trial and error of the last two years...and I should blog it. My friend laughed. (She was one of those born with green digits, and the growing elixir in her veins instead of blood. She, I think, is baffled by how complicated it is for me. She thinks about the plant, and it shoots up. So she does her best to assist, but honestly I think I am an oddity in her universe.)
Well, lightning struck, and yesterday...after the migraine 'please shoot me, streaming tears of misery' had cleared...I started writing. I contemplated putting it here, but it's very easy to create a separate site, and I was in a compartmentalization mode....only time will tell if that was smart...or not....
However, if you want to take a look at what I have written and support me....here is where you can find my new, specialized blog....link below....I titled it Rivelare's Garden since this, my main blog is Rivelare and well it's still me sharing and thinking and writing...only about flowers and such :).
http://rivelaresgarden.blogspot.com/
Enjoy...and all the best to you all... :) Drop me a line. Despite my busyness I can usually respond to emails as long as you give me a day or so of grace and don't care if I'm writing it at 2am.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Jurried Legos---A tribute and a thank you
Note: I've worked more than 70 hours last week and more than 16 today...grammar probably is non-existent or hodge-podged together. Apropos given the subject of the blog. Anyway read on if you dare.
So, late last night...or early this morning...depending on how you look at it. I call it night since it was the time between sleeps...but the clock said it was morning...
Anyway...
So last night I had some chores and projects to do and I've been working iNsAnE hours of late so if I get anything done it means cutting up that precious sleep time. Chores are part an parcel to having a nice place to live and having clean clothes to wear...so no biggie there, just dishes, laundry, sweep, mop, fold and sort. Projects come as part and parcel to living in a home...this is my first (of my own beyond the time in which Mom took care of everything), so as my first home it has been a novel experience.
One of my "current" projects, "current" being an ever growing and frequently changing list, is to provide a sun shade of sorts to my own root roses. To preface this for all the non-gardeners out there...there are basically two types of roses. Type 1- grafted, meaning new little plant has been grown on top of something that is already hardy and can pretty much withstand a lot of 'novice' handling. This type is most common as it requires less care, and can easilyl be distributed to the mass markets. Type 2- own root, meaning all that it has came from it's very own wee wittle seed. This type is less common because, well like any youngling it requires attention, care, pampering, spoiling, correcting, and can be moody, etc, etc. However, the second type is worth the fight. (As with most things in life, what you work for and put effort into is often more rewarding and worth it.) I have invested, yes invested, in some own root roses since purchasing my new home. Now a lot of places will say you can't buy an own root roses from Oregon and have it survive the shock of Texas...not true...you just have to be creative and pay attention.
My roses have loved their new home, and have even bloomed several times. Now, they are still tiny roses, even on the big plants...well because they are only 3 months old. But my 3 month old roses are enjoying the sun, the breeze, the cedar bark, the soil, the peat....but over the last week tempertures around here have started to rise and the beginning of the Texas bake has started. I noticed a drop in number of rose buds and so knew something was up with my toddlers. It didn't take me much time to figure out 'heck it's hot out here!!!' (If I put misters inside my garage I could call it a sauna.)
So I began pondering the solutions. I came up with something and last night I was putting it together. I was feeling profoundly glad for two things: One - my Brothers, who played with legos as kids, and so thus did I. Two - my Mom, who is perhaps the best Artist at jurry-rigging stuff, and who coincidently taught me without teaching me (another skill I'm woefully in awe of), that sometimes becoming an inventor is fun and comes with a little bit of duck tape, creativity, and well...may or may not work but then you try something else...so jump in and have fun with it...
I was jumping in to my project...not the first time...not really knowing the complete "plan" per se as much as the problem exists, and with a little of this and a little of that I just might have something that works...but the only way is to try it and see.
For example...a typical home improvement dudes conversation over the last little while as I have been on some quest to find some treasure.....
Hi mam, can I help you find something?
"Um, maybe, I don't know, maybe.
What are you looking for?
"I'm not sure, but I'll know it when I see it."
What is it your are working on?
"Well you see I have X, and the issue is Y, and I think if I can find something like this bendy shape, of this substance, and then a connect-er-y part, and I take it and twist it like so, and do this then I can make the X do Z and...."
Then the inevitable look accompanied by the scratch of the head as if to say: "this is why women shouldn't come in here....." upon which they will usually leave me alone. Apparently the typical employee follows instructions out of some-assembly-required furniture and has not had brothers who played with legos nor an inventor for a mother and so thus does not know what to do with someone like me let alone if my "plan" will work or fall on my head.
Anyway, I smiled last night as I sat admidst, tacky glue, duck tape, cotton balls, dowels and the lid to a tub...and thought of you all fondly. It would have been fun to jurry-rig with you, and you were with me in spirit. At 1:30ish am the creation went up. Thus my tribute to you!!!! Consider yourself toasted.
Thanks Jodus & Dylan (my brothers), I had fun creating bricked worlds with you. Thanks Mom for showing me that rarely do you stumble upon brilliance the first time, that the learning curve can be fun...and yes, that sometimes you just have to throw the hammer for things to work. Who knew these crucial skills would be so valuable in life?! I owe you all more than I ever imagined.
P.S. my roses are happier today. I have two of them budding and a bud now in bloom.
So, late last night...or early this morning...depending on how you look at it. I call it night since it was the time between sleeps...but the clock said it was morning...
Anyway...
So last night I had some chores and projects to do and I've been working iNsAnE hours of late so if I get anything done it means cutting up that precious sleep time. Chores are part an parcel to having a nice place to live and having clean clothes to wear...so no biggie there, just dishes, laundry, sweep, mop, fold and sort. Projects come as part and parcel to living in a home...this is my first (of my own beyond the time in which Mom took care of everything), so as my first home it has been a novel experience.
One of my "current" projects, "current" being an ever growing and frequently changing list, is to provide a sun shade of sorts to my own root roses. To preface this for all the non-gardeners out there...there are basically two types of roses. Type 1- grafted, meaning new little plant has been grown on top of something that is already hardy and can pretty much withstand a lot of 'novice' handling. This type is most common as it requires less care, and can easilyl be distributed to the mass markets. Type 2- own root, meaning all that it has came from it's very own wee wittle seed. This type is less common because, well like any youngling it requires attention, care, pampering, spoiling, correcting, and can be moody, etc, etc. However, the second type is worth the fight. (As with most things in life, what you work for and put effort into is often more rewarding and worth it.) I have invested, yes invested, in some own root roses since purchasing my new home. Now a lot of places will say you can't buy an own root roses from Oregon and have it survive the shock of Texas...not true...you just have to be creative and pay attention.
My roses have loved their new home, and have even bloomed several times. Now, they are still tiny roses, even on the big plants...well because they are only 3 months old. But my 3 month old roses are enjoying the sun, the breeze, the cedar bark, the soil, the peat....but over the last week tempertures around here have started to rise and the beginning of the Texas bake has started. I noticed a drop in number of rose buds and so knew something was up with my toddlers. It didn't take me much time to figure out 'heck it's hot out here!!!' (If I put misters inside my garage I could call it a sauna.)
So I began pondering the solutions. I came up with something and last night I was putting it together. I was feeling profoundly glad for two things: One - my Brothers, who played with legos as kids, and so thus did I. Two - my Mom, who is perhaps the best Artist at jurry-rigging stuff, and who coincidently taught me without teaching me (another skill I'm woefully in awe of), that sometimes becoming an inventor is fun and comes with a little bit of duck tape, creativity, and well...may or may not work but then you try something else...so jump in and have fun with it...
I was jumping in to my project...not the first time...not really knowing the complete "plan" per se as much as the problem exists, and with a little of this and a little of that I just might have something that works...but the only way is to try it and see.
For example...a typical home improvement dudes conversation over the last little while as I have been on some quest to find some treasure.....
Hi mam, can I help you find something?
"Um, maybe, I don't know, maybe.
What are you looking for?
"I'm not sure, but I'll know it when I see it."
What is it your are working on?
"Well you see I have X, and the issue is Y, and I think if I can find something like this bendy shape, of this substance, and then a connect-er-y part, and I take it and twist it like so, and do this then I can make the X do Z and...."
Then the inevitable look accompanied by the scratch of the head as if to say: "this is why women shouldn't come in here....." upon which they will usually leave me alone. Apparently the typical employee follows instructions out of some-assembly-required furniture and has not had brothers who played with legos nor an inventor for a mother and so thus does not know what to do with someone like me let alone if my "plan" will work or fall on my head.
Anyway, I smiled last night as I sat admidst, tacky glue, duck tape, cotton balls, dowels and the lid to a tub...and thought of you all fondly. It would have been fun to jurry-rig with you, and you were with me in spirit. At 1:30ish am the creation went up. Thus my tribute to you!!!! Consider yourself toasted.
Thanks Jodus & Dylan (my brothers), I had fun creating bricked worlds with you. Thanks Mom for showing me that rarely do you stumble upon brilliance the first time, that the learning curve can be fun...and yes, that sometimes you just have to throw the hammer for things to work. Who knew these crucial skills would be so valuable in life?! I owe you all more than I ever imagined.
P.S. my roses are happier today. I have two of them budding and a bud now in bloom.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Inauspicious
It's funny...you think a million, a billion thoughts a day...and inauspiciously one of those thoughts pops into your head and it arrests you in a millionth of a second. It's not just a run of the mill thought, it's a story, or a poem, and it starts unfolding like a spring bud to a new season. You stand there, the only witness, and in part you feel amazed--this story, poem, or inspiration came to you...and in part relieved--it's been a long time, and excited--because despite the fact that this is your head, you are still an accessory to this idea, this unfolding, this existence that is complete without your input, as well as transfixed...and then lastly, instantaneously aware of all that stands between you and the transcription. Every pen, paper, or computer now stand as beacons in your spacial awareness...you and this idea, the center point, while a ticking clock jumps in to the fray to start the clock on how fast you can move from this moment to the nearest writing device...be it pen, or lipstick, or keyboard. You also have this paralysis that occurs..because you don't want to loose this gem within you before it's ready to let you run, or you risk it becoming so much dust, a flimsy could-have-been. So you wait, held in custody to an idea trying to bequeath itself upon you, which snuck up on you, waltzed up and said 'hello'. You breath in...preparing to run, while trying to capture every crystalline facet of this invader...and haunting you with the dare to try and sketch it fast enough once you're seated so that if this inauspicious sentence that ran through your brain like just another person in the subway of your streaming thoughts turns out to be much much much more than you ever imagined. And, yet, even if it's nothing more than ten lines, or even if it's eight million lines, it is enough just as it is...and in that moment you are richer than any king, or queen.
Today it's a soft 68 degrees, or perhaps 72. The cool spring air is gently wafting around me and through the wind chime, there are yellow butterflies dancing across the lawn looking for flowers or clover left uneaten by the bunnies from yesterday's foraging. In the near distance, a dove coos. The sun is slipping between gentle white clouds, and when the sun is not playing coy it causes the fountain to run a gentle trickle (the fountain is powered with a solar panel, so the split second of a shy sun has it silenced). I'm sitting on a rocking chair in my backyard, with my laptop and more than a zillion things that need to be done...but for this moment, this instance of humble awe, and excitement that had to be acknowledged. I had a unambiguous slip of a thought ease into my day, a story, and it's been sooooooo very long...and it's like someone surprised me with a present. And you open the box...and there's more in it that you ever thought, and it is an incredible thing that I do not want to take for granted.
I'm carving out some time to sketch this story down. It still feels pretty weighty. At first I thought it was a snippet. However, who knows it may be much, much, more... and I sigh in a mixture of contentment for the company the story brings, and in frustration...there aren't enough days like this one where I can write these days. I have many stories held captive in my head, captive to demands I cannot ignore like paying the bills, and a job, and cleaning the house, and watering the lawn, and a fence that is creaking a warning to me--that hey, shore me up or be prepared to replace me....and staying in contact with friends and family....and...and...and.....we all have these lists....lists that run our days...and yes, I want to break free, make a run for it...and go on a journey with the stories inside me, to feel them pour out of my fingertips into the keyboard, or onto a page with a "fun" pen....to drink in days like this where the breeze giggles, and the sun flirts, and the words run like water from a mountain lake down into a mountain river...and through the valley...
How precious are these moments. How precious are these days. How precious is this life...and how utterly enthralling.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
30ish random thoughts.....
So my dearest friend tagged me in facebook and copied it to her blog, for those of us who don't really check in with facebook as if it were the blood of life. I was inspired to reply but felt a post would probably be the better medium. So without further ado...my 30ish random thoughts about me.
Please *grin* -- life is short....and silliness is required.
1. I make cookies. I started out making chocolate chip cookies when I had to use a chair to reach the counter, and still had to stand on tip-toe to dump in the ingredients. My Mom would challenge me to remember the ingredients...10 fingers, 10 pieces and with a little love and some baking...voila.
2. I used to say I had a black thumb with indoor plants. Now I can tell you I have 6 indoor plants that are green and growing...three of which probably need to be repotted...and my balcony is a little potted garden. This would not have been possible were it not for...Phil's Mom...and she knows who she is ;). Thanks. Green things are good, and I have another expensive hobby.
3. I once broke my finger in 3 places playing cards. And, I still won. I laughed, I cried, I called out...those are mine. ;) The doctor originally told me it was a sprain and I needed to exercise it as much as possible...a week later called me in a panic. I received a cast up to my elbow. And still my ring size for that finger is a whole size bigger than it was before.
4. I have lived in 3 states: Oregon, Utah, and Texas. (Apparently I'm drawn to the places that are like their own little worlds...and that are vastly different from the ones before. Although I jokingly say Utah + Oregon = Texas...at least weather wise.)
5. I once was in a car accident. I was pushed off the lane (I-215 construction...and an entitled Excursion...who didn't stop) I was going 70 at the time, I rolled the car 3.5 times..the ceiling caved in, the winshields blew out, the wheel axels were torn off, a couple tires separated off...pretty much a TOTALLED car....and the ambulance people that arrived at the scene did more damage to me than the accident did. Accident - one bruise, quarter sized. Ambulance - rammed a solid board into a hair clip (attached to my head) 6 times...with me calling out "HAIR---CLIP---HAIR CLIP, please take the hair clip off!!!" End result--goose egg. But all in all, I know God was watching out for me, a miracle.
6. I have 2 younger, taller, brothers. I am proud of the men they've become.
7. I never thought I'd be a writer. And, well with my current level of progress this is true. However, I have had multiple charcters walk into my head. One in particular that I'm attempting to do her justice, she walked in with the entire story, protagonist and all, and layed it down. When she explained her story, 'what happened to her', it sounded so simple...LOL...here I am 6 years later....writing a good story is a craft, an art, and a LOT of work.
8. I have dreamed of England and Scotland since....well probably since I was making cookies.perhaps someday my dreams will come true.
9. I love art...but couldn't draw stick figures.....Some of my favorites have surprised even me. Michelangelo, Scott Mutter, Tom Till, and Leonardo Nierman. I really love the Baroque period of painters.
10. I've been dating a guy for 10 months now. It's unofficially official. I'm planning a wedding, buying a house.....and since things come in threes.....hmmmmmmm can I put in a request for a puppy?
11. I love Shiba Inus...and want one....I love the Harley Davidson coloring, but the red reminds me of one of the best puppy dogs in the whole world (my sister...lol) Pippin. (She's my Mom's dog---hence the sister part). She's currently living with my brother and his wife.
12. My favorite color is a deep, royal, purple. However, I love all jewel tones.
13. I have title...well two...since one of them is from work, but the other was given to me by D--J--E--G--Nobdoy the 3rd. It's better when I can speak the title rather than tell it to you, my initials are: K--B--E--A--C--N--7
14. I love to read fiction and poetry. I highly recommend the book Red Earth by Stacy Anne Weeks as a fantastic book of poetry.
15. I have been biten by a dog while riding a bike, the day before vacation. The dog held on for about 50 feet.
16. When really tired, I cease speaking and start signing...and I don't notice this happening since to me it's all words, and signing is speaking. (ASL) Though, if I ever meet someone who knows the language I blank. lol.
17. I think it would be fun to go hanggliding. I'd want to take my camera though.
18. I have more than 300 movies on my shelf. (Ironically the movie 300 isn't one of them).
19. I would love to see one of my relatives on a game show...Millionaire or Jeopardy....they are one of the smartest people I know and it'd be fun to watch them kick mental butt. :)
20. I'm asymmetrical.
21. I love taking nature photography.
22. I abhor having my picture taken and really dislike it when people post pictures of me online without first seeing if this is a picture I'd want to share with the world. I am not photogenic.People in earlier centuries had it so much easier, if they were more frumpy than cute it was only locally known. Now, the WWW has made sure everyone in the world can see you on a bad day...with the help of "friends". At the very least anyone posting pictures of others should learn and abide by photography's rule of thirds. It will also enhance your other pictures.
23. I have Myrmecophobia.
24. I love lilies, roses, geraniums, and carnations.
25. I can be shy, and tongue tied even around people I've known for years...and can struggle to find something to say. And yet, I can also be loquacious and it can take an hour to say goodbye.
26. I love the smell of rain.
27. I love board games, and playing them. I play backgammon online with several friends.
28. I stump most doctors. I think it runs in the family. I'm not rich enough to pay the out of pocket expenses to figure it out though so oh well. Neuroscience is a cool field, even when you're the subject.
29. I think having a powerful car beneath you, and no imposed speed limits is awesome....also in this dream is no traffic ;)
30. I treasure my friendships and hold them as one of the most prized possessions and gifts I've ever been given.
BONUS THOUGHTS
31. I've had an 8.5 foot boa wrapped around my waste voluntarily.
32. I have sat and read books with gorillas.
33. I make quilts. I give quilts away, lol, maybe one day I'll make one for me.
34. I sometimes think in song. I like to sing.
35. I have few goals. I prefer to take each day as it comes and just enjoy life. "Every man dies. Not everyman truly lives." (Braveheart)
36. I love beholding the beauty of this world and realizing it is but a mere glimpse of the beauty and grandeur of God. I love sititng before an ocean, filling the waves roll in and out, the power/depth/mystery of it all and yet how constant. I love sitting in the middle of a mountain field or under the pines...and inhaling the air around and feeling the enormity and yet the detailed minutia overwhelming the senses.
37. I disregard age. I often can't remember how old I am, let alone those around me. I see instead the heart, the passion for adventure, fun, and warmth of the person before me.
38. I can be stubborn....make no mistake...but I've learned to pick my battles. But occassionally I'll lapse if provoked and someone will get my back up...and before you know it...the stubborn response kicks in..... but most of the time though I'm quiet and laid back.
39. I think it would be awesome to be a voice in an animated film. Even better would be my youngest brother's voice....he has talented vocals...Robin Williams like. :)
40. ......you have to leave a little to the imagination......
"watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it!" Ronald Dahl
Please *grin* -- life is short....and silliness is required.
1. I make cookies. I started out making chocolate chip cookies when I had to use a chair to reach the counter, and still had to stand on tip-toe to dump in the ingredients. My Mom would challenge me to remember the ingredients...10 fingers, 10 pieces and with a little love and some baking...voila.
2. I used to say I had a black thumb with indoor plants. Now I can tell you I have 6 indoor plants that are green and growing...three of which probably need to be repotted...and my balcony is a little potted garden. This would not have been possible were it not for...Phil's Mom...and she knows who she is ;). Thanks. Green things are good, and I have another expensive hobby.
3. I once broke my finger in 3 places playing cards. And, I still won. I laughed, I cried, I called out...those are mine. ;) The doctor originally told me it was a sprain and I needed to exercise it as much as possible...a week later called me in a panic. I received a cast up to my elbow. And still my ring size for that finger is a whole size bigger than it was before.
4. I have lived in 3 states: Oregon, Utah, and Texas. (Apparently I'm drawn to the places that are like their own little worlds...and that are vastly different from the ones before. Although I jokingly say Utah + Oregon = Texas...at least weather wise.)
5. I once was in a car accident. I was pushed off the lane (I-215 construction...and an entitled Excursion...who didn't stop) I was going 70 at the time, I rolled the car 3.5 times..the ceiling caved in, the winshields blew out, the wheel axels were torn off, a couple tires separated off...pretty much a TOTALLED car....and the ambulance people that arrived at the scene did more damage to me than the accident did. Accident - one bruise, quarter sized. Ambulance - rammed a solid board into a hair clip (attached to my head) 6 times...with me calling out "HAIR---CLIP---HAIR CLIP, please take the hair clip off!!!" End result--goose egg. But all in all, I know God was watching out for me, a miracle.
6. I have 2 younger, taller, brothers. I am proud of the men they've become.
7. I never thought I'd be a writer. And, well with my current level of progress this is true. However, I have had multiple charcters walk into my head. One in particular that I'm attempting to do her justice, she walked in with the entire story, protagonist and all, and layed it down. When she explained her story, 'what happened to her', it sounded so simple...LOL...here I am 6 years later....writing a good story is a craft, an art, and a LOT of work.
8. I have dreamed of England and Scotland since....well probably since I was making cookies.
9. I love art...but couldn't draw stick figures.....Some of my favorites have surprised even me. Michelangelo, Scott Mutter, Tom Till, and Leonardo Nierman. I really love the Baroque period of painters.
10. I've been dating a guy for 10 months now. It's unofficially official. I'm planning a wedding, buying a house.....and since things come in threes.....hmmmmmmm can I put in a request for a puppy?
11. I love Shiba Inus...and want one....I love the Harley Davidson coloring, but the red reminds me of one of the best puppy dogs in the whole world (my sister...lol) Pippin. (She's my Mom's dog---hence the sister part). She's currently living with my brother and his wife.
12. My favorite color is a deep, royal, purple. However, I love all jewel tones.
13. I have title...well two...since one of them is from work, but the other was given to me by D--J--E--G--Nobdoy the 3rd. It's better when I can speak the title rather than tell it to you, my initials are: K--B--E--A--C--N--7
14. I love to read fiction and poetry. I highly recommend the book Red Earth by Stacy Anne Weeks as a fantastic book of poetry.
15. I have been biten by a dog while riding a bike, the day before vacation. The dog held on for about 50 feet.
16. When really tired, I cease speaking and start signing...and I don't notice this happening since to me it's all words, and signing is speaking. (ASL) Though, if I ever meet someone who knows the language I blank. lol.
17. I think it would be fun to go hanggliding. I'd want to take my camera though.
18. I have more than 300 movies on my shelf. (Ironically the movie 300 isn't one of them).
19. I would love to see one of my relatives on a game show...Millionaire or Jeopardy....they are one of the smartest people I know and it'd be fun to watch them kick mental butt. :)
20. I'm asymmetrical.
21. I love taking nature photography.
22. I abhor having my picture taken and really dislike it when people post pictures of me online without first seeing if this is a picture I'd want to share with the world. I am not photogenic.
23. I have Myrmecophobia.
24. I love lilies, roses, geraniums, and carnations.
25. I can be shy, and tongue tied even around people I've known for years...and can struggle to find something to say. And yet, I can also be loquacious and it can take an hour to say goodbye.
26. I love the smell of rain.
27. I love board games, and playing them. I play backgammon online with several friends.
28. I stump most doctors. I think it runs in the family. I'm not rich enough to pay the out of pocket expenses to figure it out though so oh well. Neuroscience is a cool field, even when you're the subject.
29. I think having a powerful car beneath you, and no imposed speed limits is awesome....also in this dream is no traffic ;)
30. I treasure my friendships and hold them as one of the most prized possessions and gifts I've ever been given.
BONUS THOUGHTS
31. I've had an 8.5 foot boa wrapped around my waste voluntarily.
32. I have sat and read books with gorillas.
33. I make quilts. I give quilts away, lol, maybe one day I'll make one for me.
34. I sometimes think in song. I like to sing.
35. I have few goals. I prefer to take each day as it comes and just enjoy life. "Every man dies. Not everyman truly lives." (Braveheart)
36. I love beholding the beauty of this world and realizing it is but a mere glimpse of the beauty and grandeur of God. I love sititng before an ocean, filling the waves roll in and out, the power/depth/mystery of it all and yet how constant. I love sitting in the middle of a mountain field or under the pines...and inhaling the air around and feeling the enormity and yet the detailed minutia overwhelming the senses.
37. I disregard age. I often can't remember how old I am, let alone those around me. I see instead the heart, the passion for adventure, fun, and warmth of the person before me.
38. I can be stubborn....make no mistake...but I've learned to pick my battles. But occassionally I'll lapse if provoked and someone will get my back up...and before you know it...the stubborn response kicks in..... but most of the time though I'm quiet and laid back.
39. I think it would be awesome to be a voice in an animated film. Even better would be my youngest brother's voice....he has talented vocals...Robin Williams like. :)
40. ......you have to leave a little to the imagination......
"watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it!" Ronald Dahl
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Credit for....
Today I spent a great deal of time weighing options. There's an author, L.M. Montgomery, who captured so beautifully in one of her simple character's learnings, maturation, story arc the debate I had with myself today. One of her characters was prone to talking a lot....and one of the other characters was trying to challenge this character to speak less, think more...and the character responded back with something the the effect of, "if you only knew how much I wanted to say and didn't, you'd give me some credit." (Anne of Green Gables, and Marilla just in case it wasn't obvious enough who I was referring to.) :)
After careful thought, and Romans 14, I have decided not to post the blog I wrote earlier which would have been titled "perception is reality" in order to take a page from the scene above. So this is my tribute to the idea...if you only knew how much I wanted to say and didn't....Of course, there was the fact that the picture above was too pretty not to be used for a blog today.
So drink in the beauty of Tom Till's picture above and know I intended to say soooo much more tonight. ;)
My parting thought, other than Tom Till has a brilliant eye and breath taking pictures is....that Nearly Normals in Corvallis is awesome. If you ever find yourself in the area STOP in!!! Seriously this is some awesomely "Veggielicious Vegetarian Cooking"!!!!! I was hooked from the moment I bit into Athena's Delight. Of all that I could miss of Oregon I miss this place...second only to the Ocean. Their website isn't all that fancy or posh but the food is simply amazing and more than makes up for it. Seriously even if you are a healthy meat loving person, this place is worth foregoing your usual perfered protein source. Go! Then let me know ;). :) http://www.nearlynormals.com/
Sunday, August 29, 2010
not really a blog....
Hi world, it's been forever since I've written and there's a part of myself...deep down that misses it. However, life has been super busy of late. So this won't truly be a blog but I was reading in a book...one of my other neglected hobbies of late and came across this line. The line resonated within...and I had to record it somewhere. It was beautiful and poignant ---perfect, really.
"...as I sat there, half-alone in the darkness of my closed eyes."
What a perfect description of a moment...how even in the middle of a crowd, or a party, or even just a quiet evening with a loved one...there there are moments where you are alone. And it isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is a state of being, sometimes peaceful, sometimes poignant in a way you couldn't describe yet you feel deeply. It makes sense to you and no one else...and it can be enough. Just that breathe of time, that moment of darkness where the world disappears in a blink. And, then there are times when you are profoundly grateful to raise the lids of your eyes and realize that you aren't alone.
So it depends on the moment, and on a host of circumstances that lead you to that moment, with the future stretching before you, unplanned, unfated...possibilities dance like dust motes in the air on a sunny day...but no matter what comes next you have that simple reality encompassing you. Then the truth that transcends both realities of eyes open or eyes closed. This transcendental truth is the one home I am most thankful for of all.
Deuteronomy 31:6,8
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."
"The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."
"...as I sat there, half-alone in the darkness of my closed eyes."
What a perfect description of a moment...how even in the middle of a crowd, or a party, or even just a quiet evening with a loved one...there there are moments where you are alone. And it isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is a state of being, sometimes peaceful, sometimes poignant in a way you couldn't describe yet you feel deeply. It makes sense to you and no one else...and it can be enough. Just that breathe of time, that moment of darkness where the world disappears in a blink. And, then there are times when you are profoundly grateful to raise the lids of your eyes and realize that you aren't alone.
So it depends on the moment, and on a host of circumstances that lead you to that moment, with the future stretching before you, unplanned, unfated...possibilities dance like dust motes in the air on a sunny day...but no matter what comes next you have that simple reality encompassing you. Then the truth that transcends both realities of eyes open or eyes closed. This transcendental truth is the one home I am most thankful for of all.
Deuteronomy 31:6,8
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."
"The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."
Friday, April 23, 2010
Top Ten---or Eight
Reflections on Dating
So today I was writing a new friend in response to a question they asked. It actually was close to the topic I'm now blogging on but not exactly. However, you know how the brain works...it wasn't a hop skip and a jump to go from question one to this list (more like a blink.) The topic was dating and I was explaining how it is odd for me to think of dating as positive. And I didn't go into specifics in the letter but then I started thinking....and tonight the highlights seem funny, so let's list them shall we?
1. Went on two dates with a guy--and he decided he'd rather be gay.
2. Went on one date with a guy--I was the last to see him alive.
3. Went on one date with a guy--I saw my life flash before my eyes and I begged God not to let me die in the car with this guy.
4. I've had no less than 5 stalkers!!!
4.1 one of which should have been incarcerated and/or sentenced to die--firing squad or lethal injection...whichever, and no I don't say this lightly or in humor, he was/is serial killer disturbing--he mentioned cuffing me up at one point and yes giggled/laughed as if it would be a good time while inside I was thinking 'oh shit!' He also gave me a confession that still gives me nightmares.
4.2 one proposed marriage during our first conversation, it wasn't even a date, he sat down at the table and started in on the reasons why I was selected and what our first kids would be like
4.3-4.5 the other three are interesting too, but less freaky...don't get me wrong...still freaky as they are in the stalker category....just not so bad...one of these three is still in the semi-active stage, I'm hoping he'll go away soon
5. Another date--Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde (let's just say I outran him)
6. Antoher 1st date--I was propositioned to be a night light after no signs of interest---we were on opposite sides of a room...no joke...(he asked me if I was sure, I said no...and then again, after the second refusal....I was contemplating where exactly to hit him to get away when he asked a third time...he eventually let me go though, w/o violence)
7. Another 1st date--and he had a fixation on feeding me the entire Cheesecake factory menu and wouldn't let it drop that I really only wanted one meal. (For those who haven't been there the menu at this particular joint is like 65 pages long)
8. I was asked on a date, he picked me up and then his mom. Of all of the ones listed here this one was actually a sweet guy, the date was weird, but at least I wasn't lamenting my lack of self defense skills or worried about his hands.
These are just a few highlights...I've been on other dates, some blind, some not; been stood up, etc, etc, just like we all have. However, these particular ones cause of the greatest negative impressions I have of dating and while I still twinge when I say/use the word 'date'.
The tide seems to have turned though. I am now dating someone and it's a good thing. It's very bizarre and it still takes my head a moment to process. So let this be a token of hope for any out there who like me used to think of dating as either tempting fate or a very creative way to commit suicide. Don't give up. Good ones exist. I still want to call the going out with a good guy a different thing...the english language of the modern world needs another name for this process...in the olden days there were many phrases...let's just say being courted is a good thing. I think it will take years of rehab for dating to be a good thing in my head. However, dating does produce fun stories...if you live to tell them....and if enough time passes to the point they become funny.
So today I was writing a new friend in response to a question they asked. It actually was close to the topic I'm now blogging on but not exactly. However, you know how the brain works...it wasn't a hop skip and a jump to go from question one to this list (more like a blink.) The topic was dating and I was explaining how it is odd for me to think of dating as positive. And I didn't go into specifics in the letter but then I started thinking....and tonight the highlights seem funny, so let's list them shall we?
1. Went on two dates with a guy--and he decided he'd rather be gay.
2. Went on one date with a guy--I was the last to see him alive.
3. Went on one date with a guy--I saw my life flash before my eyes and I begged God not to let me die in the car with this guy.
4. I've had no less than 5 stalkers!!!
4.1 one of which should have been incarcerated and/or sentenced to die--firing squad or lethal injection...whichever, and no I don't say this lightly or in humor, he was/is serial killer disturbing--he mentioned cuffing me up at one point and yes giggled/laughed as if it would be a good time while inside I was thinking 'oh shit!' He also gave me a confession that still gives me nightmares.
4.2 one proposed marriage during our first conversation, it wasn't even a date, he sat down at the table and started in on the reasons why I was selected and what our first kids would be like
4.3-4.5 the other three are interesting too, but less freaky...don't get me wrong...still freaky as they are in the stalker category....just not so bad...one of these three is still in the semi-active stage, I'm hoping he'll go away soon
5. Another date--Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde (let's just say I outran him)
6. Antoher 1st date--I was propositioned to be a night light after no signs of interest---we were on opposite sides of a room...no joke...(he asked me if I was sure, I said no...and then again, after the second refusal....I was contemplating where exactly to hit him to get away when he asked a third time...he eventually let me go though, w/o violence)
7. Another 1st date--and he had a fixation on feeding me the entire Cheesecake factory menu and wouldn't let it drop that I really only wanted one meal. (For those who haven't been there the menu at this particular joint is like 65 pages long)
8. I was asked on a date, he picked me up and then his mom. Of all of the ones listed here this one was actually a sweet guy, the date was weird, but at least I wasn't lamenting my lack of self defense skills or worried about his hands.
These are just a few highlights...I've been on other dates, some blind, some not; been stood up, etc, etc, just like we all have. However, these particular ones cause of the greatest negative impressions I have of dating and while I still twinge when I say/use the word 'date'.
The tide seems to have turned though. I am now dating someone and it's a good thing. It's very bizarre and it still takes my head a moment to process. So let this be a token of hope for any out there who like me used to think of dating as either tempting fate or a very creative way to commit suicide. Don't give up. Good ones exist. I still want to call the going out with a good guy a different thing...the english language of the modern world needs another name for this process...in the olden days there were many phrases...let's just say being courted is a good thing. I think it will take years of rehab for dating to be a good thing in my head. However, dating does produce fun stories...if you live to tell them....and if enough time passes to the point they become funny.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Dreamer
Print is by Julie FainPrecipitate Distillation
I’m a dreamer when it rains
there’s a peace and settling there
A simple reception
as water touches earth
a softening
that allows the saturation
of ideas, wishes, hopes
to seep through
and flow
Sometimes torrents rush by
stemming from
a backlog and excess
of emotions and life
built up, around, and within me
Thunder echoes the
touchdown of pen to paper.
Whereas other gales
bring in a gentle
release
soft, mellow, wellsprings
of the nuances,
and simplicities,
and profoundness
Coloring clouds, air, and ground
a hue and hint different
as words meld
light impressions,
faintly.
And with any given
tempest
or inspiration
a momentary shift can escalate
the dance of water and dreams
from a two step
to a crescendoing tango
all consuming
eclipsing absorption
both warm and chilling.
A little breeze
can cyclone
what once was up and down
into a perfect misdirection
tumultuous
where all life tilts, anew—
mimicking inked words falling
on a freshened page
Where once upon a time
meaning was found
at the end of rainbows
or in the thrill
of chasing them
through all the in betweens
fraught with both
sunshine and shadow
meaning and mystery
clarity and obscurity
the journey and the moment
little bursts of laughter
little rivets of tears
little shelter of solace
a horizon distant
and down-poured.
~Kelly B~
March 8, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Raincheck
This will be a weird blog tonight because I really don't know how to start or end...I just know the middle.
Tonight I find myself trying to figure out the answer to a question. I was asked, 'can I get a raincheck on that?' And I know what they mean...I think...I can guess their intended question in that...
If the question is meant to ask, 'will you forgive me' then I know what I'll say. Yes.
However, there is part of me that wants to rail. This life is fleeting. There are moments, and if you miss them, you miss them. One of my dear friends is getting married in less than a week and I won't be there to see it. It is incredibly pointless and somewhat hurtful if I were to ask her 'can I get a raincheck on that'....that little thing of missing your wedding. Now...she and I have talked and she knows why I can't be there. So I didn't ask her for a raincheck. I knew. I knew this would be a moment in her life and I would miss it. The reason matters to her, and to me, but really it doesn't change the facts. I'll miss it. No turning back, no changing it.
The moments in our lives where people can be there or not is not the equivalent of going to the store to find they are out of what'chits and whosits and fudguzitmaflos and you can get a raincheck and come back at some later, more convenient time and pick it back up. Nothing lost.
So there is part of me that wants to hit this person who asked me the question, not because I can't or won't forgive them...but because I find their question maddening. There is no getting this moment back, it's gone. You missed it. I am not God, so I can't rewind life to give you this fragment back...this isn't like hitting pause on your tivo, or dvd, so you can go grab the phone and come back to where you left off. It's gone. So, NO...you really can't get a raincheck. I am not a store, and this moment is not a product. You missed it.
Life is moving on. The hours passed, the minutes fell away into eternity....it is gone. And either you make priorities and decisions in your life with this in mind, or you live with the consequences.
So screw it...I'm going to go and book a flight. Put my money where my mouth is. I'm going to see my friend's wedding this weekend. Life is short. The people in your life either matter or they don't. The moments in our lives where we make the choice to be there for the people we love, and we have memories....or we simply have missed moments, a void, an absense, a regret. I may be able to find a deal and go, or I'll know at least I tried, and yes, that I missed it.
No rainchecks. Just life.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Cure for vampirism
So if you ever go to the doctor and they run a blood test and it comes back seriously deficient in vitamin D they perscribe some major powerful liquid sunshine to make up for your vampirism. Apparently a lack of vitamin D can do a major job on you.
Let me clue you in...so when you have an energy drain that causes you to result to doctors...and you tend to be anxious in doctors offices and you only hear a fraction of what they say...and you think you hear 'we'll put you on these one a day for a couple weeks and then look at over the counters'...you pick up your perscription.
But, then, I also tend to hate drugs, minus excedrin migraine, and I'm almost OCD about reading the literature they staple to the bag. And, there are often times when I read the papers and think 'is the way I'm feeling now worth risking some of the side effects...' and sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it is no and I leave the medication in the stapled bag. So I remember reading the stuff on vitamin D and I remember the phrase if you OD on it call poison control immediately and thinking ok...well I'm not swallowing the whole bottle so I'm good.
Then I take these powerful liquid sunshine pills everyday. (With food, a snipet that trickles in from the doctor's visit.) And, let me tell you...six days later and my energy comes back kablamo style and I'm feeling giggly, and I'm talking to my best friend. I'm telling her the powerful sunshine drugs are working and awesome and she asks me what the dosage is and I reply 50,000 IUs. Her jaw hits the floor...and keeps going slinky style down the stairs...and after a few sputters and what-nots (all of which are entertaining and fun to someone who is oblivious to you know the realities of drugs/health stuff...i.e. me) she has me read her the bottle.
I discover it's one pill a week, not a day. After a little googling I discover max dose of D typically is 2000 IUs a day. So a little mental math reveals that my real perscription should have been for a little over 7000IUs/day released slowly over a week (so still a case for massively deficient Ds). And, well, I've been dropping 25 times the normal max...and 7 times the perscribed amounts....hmmmm, maybe they should have put more warnings around the poison control center thing...However, neither the paper nor online materials tell you that massive quanities of D produce giggles. It does. So I'm still not worried...perhaps maybe a little concerned but giggles are fun. My friend asks why I didn't read the bottle and is trying to flutter between 'holy *** cows' and 'are you alrights' and ...well lots of reactions (again fun) and asking/telling me that you always read the bottle. To which I reply I did, but only that first night when I was zapped for all stuff, and truthfully I didn't touch the perscription for like 2 days after it was given to me....did I mention I hate drugs...and doctors...and...so how I ended up both reading and being instructed on the 'week' vs. my memory of 'day' is beyond me.
Of course all this is discovered after hours and well...I don't really want to rush myself to the ER because I'm giggly. So I'll wait until Monday to talk to the doctor and see what we do from here...
However, all that is to say, if you find yourself dreaming of a caffine IV to get you through the day seriously consider the question (do you get enough sunshine) and perhaps look into supplements. Vitamin D is awesome stuff. Energy, giggles, sunny nature...all good. But don't OD on it, there are apparently some warnings that don't factor in giggles.
So here is my humorous tribute to the fact, I probably shouldn't be left alone...and definitely not put in charge of meds when I can't see straight for vampiric energy depletions. I find all this even more humorous simply because usually I tend to sunburn myself on a good sunny day even with sunblock applied, and it appears I've just sunburned my insides...ah well...at least I don't hurt to touch, and I'm not setting my own climate zone...just giggling.
So happy day. I recommend vitamin D for the cubicle-o-holics, and any rainy place the sun doesn't shine. I recommend D. Stick to less than 2000 IUs. But get it in your system. Save yourself some dough from all the trips for caffine....then you can buy yourself a present! Tah Dah!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
More Poetry from 2005
So...I found this notebook I completely forgot about....and apparently October of 2005 was a very poetical month. ;) Thus, here is another poem from way back...and it's still rough, but the basic concept and story I was sketching out is there. I hope you enjoy.
Michelangelo’s Marble
My existence
has been a
fixed state
of permanent Is.
Eons of time have passed,
and yet a –moment —only.
Without I am cool & firm
an appealing exterior
I have weight & body
Yet one day, a passerby’s
hand selects me
from the lot of
“drab slabs”, words I over hear from one,
While another excitedly whispers
about my beauty, my worth
Into His hands
I am carried, lifted from
my dreary surroundings
of other stones and muck.
I am cleaned and placed
upon a pedestal.
Oh! My life will be of ease
and appreciation, surely.
Now all will see…
KAAAAhhhhhRRRRAAACCCCCKKK
Without quite knowing from
where, or how, or why
I suddenly feel this
Fissure
and the painful split
a Gouge
and OH! the Throb from---
WHACK
I shore up, I resist, yet
Pieces crumble, fall,
cascading away
I’m caught between
pain and outrage.
Who are these rough hewn hands
that assault
Who presume the right
to destroy
Who whittle away
my opposition, my composition
CHISEL SCRAPE
the hammer moves
and I feel
the WALLOW
the BLOW
the BANG & BUMP
bashed and broken
pieces of my once stone state
coat the ground, hang suspended in the very air
unsure where to settle—departed, cut off
now only a fine perspiring sheen,
my dust, gloves the hands
hides the hammer.
Cool breeze wafts through the air,
slicing through a new cleft,
and for a moment there is my voice,
my mourning cry.
FRACTURE
from a distance
I hear this rumble
of whispered words
mutterings of form
of the genius of my faint silhouette forming,
Then the voice of the Sculptor
firmly stating He hears me, indeed,
heard me crying to be freed.
Sand and dust swirl together—time blurs.
Secluded with the Sculptor,
now, I cleave to His vision,
as my narcissism--banked, silent,
leaving behind a deep response within
still struggling to form
NOTCH
hunks, and layers litter the floor,
and are swept away…
leaving me only knowing
I’m not all undone.
Compliantly I present all I am,
all that remains,
to these Scarred hands
holding both me and the moment
tools of transformation—
INCISE
a death exists
a gap larger
than any crevice
looming between
my abilities &
His raw power
I try and compensate
do my share
SNAP
A flaw appears,
a score
and I shudder within
impatient & without Perfection
The Master carries on
ETCH
A fervor
of motion and movement
surround us
I’m no longer comfortable
with a life of leisure
and an egocentric world
I reminisce in silence of grain & texture
Michelangelo’s Marble
My existence
has been a
fixed state
of permanent Is.
Eons of time have passed,
and yet a –moment —only.
Without I am cool & firm
an appealing exterior
I have weight & body
Yet one day, a passerby’s
hand selects me
from the lot of
“drab slabs”, words I over hear from one,
While another excitedly whispers
about my beauty, my worth
Into His hands
I am carried, lifted from
my dreary surroundings
of other stones and muck.
I am cleaned and placed
upon a pedestal.
Oh! My life will be of ease
and appreciation, surely.
Now all will see…
KAAAAhhhhhRRRRAAACCCCCKKK
Without quite knowing from
where, or how, or why
I suddenly feel this
Fissure
and the painful split
a Gouge
and OH! the Throb from---
WHACK
I shore up, I resist, yet
Pieces crumble, fall,
cascading away
I’m caught between
pain and outrage.
Who are these rough hewn hands
that assault
Who presume the right
to destroy
Who whittle away
my opposition, my composition
CHISEL SCRAPE
the hammer moves
and I feel
the WALLOW
the BLOW
the BANG & BUMP
bashed and broken
pieces of my once stone state
coat the ground, hang suspended in the very air
unsure where to settle—departed, cut off
now only a fine perspiring sheen,
my dust, gloves the hands
hides the hammer.
Cool breeze wafts through the air,
slicing through a new cleft,
and for a moment there is my voice,
my mourning cry.
FRACTURE
from a distance
I hear this rumble
of whispered words
mutterings of form
of the genius of my faint silhouette forming,
Then the voice of the Sculptor
firmly stating He hears me, indeed,
heard me crying to be freed.
Sand and dust swirl together—time blurs.
Secluded with the Sculptor,
now, I cleave to His vision,
as my narcissism--banked, silent,
leaving behind a deep response within
still struggling to form
NOTCH
hunks, and layers litter the floor,
and are swept away…
leaving me only knowing
I’m not all undone.
Compliantly I present all I am,
all that remains,
to these Scarred hands
holding both me and the moment
tools of transformation—
INCISE
a death exists
a gap larger
than any crevice
looming between
my abilities &
His raw power
I try and compensate
do my share
SNAP
A flaw appears,
a score
and I shudder within
impatient & without Perfection
The Master carries on
ETCH
A fervor
of motion and movement
surround us
I’m no longer comfortable
with a life of leisure
and an egocentric world
I reminisce in silence of grain & texture
in an unfolding transformation
of inscribed chiseling.
of inscribed chiseling.
RASP
A cloth drops in a puddle at my pedestal
A cloth drops in a puddle at my pedestal
Quietude descends, as a hush
reverberates across my waxen patina
an awe pervades
I clamor to reveal
The Man—
who saw within, full fragments, a solid mass…
who wrestled a reluctant me, separate and entombed…
fragmented slivering refinement…
to present me, now, a new creation
taking complexity, history, a story, and a light
melding together
what no one else could see…
now Displayed.
~Kelly B
10/13/2005
reverberates across my waxen patina
an awe pervades
I clamor to reveal
The Man—
who saw within, full fragments, a solid mass…
who wrestled a reluctant me, separate and entombed…
fragmented slivering refinement…
to present me, now, a new creation
taking complexity, history, a story, and a light
melding together
what no one else could see…
now Displayed.
~Kelly B
10/13/2005
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Brain Cancer
The Pastor at the church I go to was recently diagnosed with brain cancer. Watching him go through this has been profoundly humbling, and amazing.
Today, msnbc and various other newspapers are covering the story of what has happened. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35086396/ns/health-cancer//
I am praying for him, seeking to see a miracle. But the truth is the miracle is happening in the way one man's faith, given every reason, has not faltered.
So God bless to all. Be well. Live. Realize miracles do happen, and are happening all around us. Another miracle I was reminded of today was in the precious life of a family, their treasure and daughter Boo. No fan fares, no whistles, nothing major or life threatening...just simple life. In another moment today...a friend who is preparing to be married in less than a month, the beauty of love radiating out from her. Yesterday an eagle flew over the house of another friend who struggles to understand she's loved because life has just been too hard. She lets me say it, in word and in actions. Another is healing from dental surgery, again....who is seeking to find a way to bring love into the life of a child or teen who needs a second home so early in their life. And I could go on...this is the incredible part. When you stop to truly see, and this sight, too, feels like a gift.
Today, msnbc and various other newspapers are covering the story of what has happened. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35086396/ns/health-cancer//
I am praying for him, seeking to see a miracle. But the truth is the miracle is happening in the way one man's faith, given every reason, has not faltered.
So God bless to all. Be well. Live. Realize miracles do happen, and are happening all around us. Another miracle I was reminded of today was in the precious life of a family, their treasure and daughter Boo. No fan fares, no whistles, nothing major or life threatening...just simple life. In another moment today...a friend who is preparing to be married in less than a month, the beauty of love radiating out from her. Yesterday an eagle flew over the house of another friend who struggles to understand she's loved because life has just been too hard. She lets me say it, in word and in actions. Another is healing from dental surgery, again....who is seeking to find a way to bring love into the life of a child or teen who needs a second home so early in their life. And I could go on...this is the incredible part. When you stop to truly see, and this sight, too, feels like a gift.
Praise God for all of the above.
~K
~K
Monday, January 25, 2010
A tiny trip to Oregon...the beaches of course
So I felt this need to go look in my old poetry folder. I haven't written a poem in so long I'm pleading the 5th. However, I found something wonderful...and it's a poem I forgot I wrote. :) So here you are...from the chest of Kelly, a poem has been prised out. (Guess I'm being very un-Emily Dickinson right now...but hey...)
Stolen Moments
An Eagle’s
sitting challenge :
What am I missing?
Flight.
Like a river’s return
these roads
laid out before me
I am destined
to seize
this moment
of spontaneous awareness.
Little bits gathered
prepare for traditions
Memories kept alive
one song
filling the space
bridging time,
to link you up again,
one song . . .
we prepare
to be spellbound
by silence
by life
by these stolen moments
The weather varies
like the altitude,
the journey
rolling out
mile by mile
revealing
blessings
rain glazed
sun touched moments
in a late winter day
with spring on the
fringes
climb
push on
a song . . .
pause for
companion
standing beside you -
yet catching up,
what once you
thought was a destination
grinning back at you:
move on !
Suddenly
you’re face to face
with a morale imperative!
It’s the ocean
slipping free
from the boundaries
of shore
sand
rocks
to leap up
reach out
caress your face
remind you of life
there’s a rhythm,
a set of three,
like candles on cake
think
Inhale
let the blessings Christen you
reach up
to brush the Wingtips
Gratitude’s Extension ~ for your Faith
whispers you were
right to Believe ,
Listen …
It’s giggles resemble :
soul freeing laughter
and only it can teach
you of Sorrow ~
where it goes
and Why . . .
Listen to the depths
the foam
Brushing foam
Cascading
over
past
around
something beneath it’s
Shadows
as the sun
gently slides
between one cloud and the sky
it’s rays Escape
desperately extending
to brush
this moment
and all who
Gather
in the stillness
Rising up
from the moments
that comprise daily life
to realize
this IS Life ~
it’s breath
the beauty that
is formed
from majesty
and cold depths
touched by
rays of life
pulsating the distances
fleeting and freedom ,
not crying -
Enclosing
weaving
Here you stand
in One’s Eternal sight
Forever
a part of this
Moment -
your existence
Validating
It’s creation!
Breathe in
be strong ,
complexity exists
for this simplicity
it Thrums
Crashes
wave upon wave
over and over
in and out
holding
all the parts
perceived separate
part of the One great whole …
with the words
you’ve learned of Silence
Sing Praise
from your soul
Exhale--
then as light leaves
both land and sky
the waves
Whisper
a gentle seduction
of shadow and light
And I
am happy to be
Seduced~
~Kelly Brooke
January 24, 2004
Beverly Beach
(rough draft)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Irreparable Fragments
Stars
I’m not much of one to put any stock in horoscopes and what the ‘stars’ are saying, but tonight as I sat beside a pond thinking about the night, my life, “etcetera, etcetera, etcetera” (King & I), I started noticing the few constellations I can always find, the few I know. Here’s what they had to say since I am not sure I can put my thoughts into words and a blog must have words to be…so without much ado, tonight here is what the stars were saying.
Orion had a few extra stars about him, as if he’d been wielding his sword in battle, and there were pieces of his opponents strewn about him.
The 7 sisters were running away, so distant blue were they.
The dragon was sinewy…and made me think of The Never Ending Story as the dragon was flying away into the night.
The dipper was upended, if there had been anything in there, there isn’t any more.
The moon was nowhere to be found.
And, last but not least, there’s a planet in the sky…not sure which one, I only know it’s not Mars. Thank God, quite literally. That one came and went and won’t be back for hundreds of years, so for my non-existent great, great, grandchildren who most likely will never read this…when Mars comes to town, run into the hills, don’t look back, and hide for a year. Yes, it really was that bad. However, tonight’s planet, nameless as it is, seems to sit there in a sky of retreating stars, distant, removed, looking down, but not in a cavalier type fashion, almost like a fallen tear, light blue and one of the multifariously simplest of statements.
So there you have it. I should have looked up before tonight’s end so as to know what to expect, but I didn’t…and I find it comforting to be beneath them tonight, listening to water and wind. I do not have the answers tonight; though reusable bags can be converted to little islands in itchy grass, and tomorrow will begin all too soon. Tomorrow though I will open the package I received in the mail today that I cannot open right now; in addition, I will be able to attend a writing workshop, so tomorrow....I expect to be good. That is all.
Good night.
Friday, January 15, 2010
:) Backgammon Challenge
Hi, Hello, and HORRAY!!!!
My Mom found a site for backgammon games where we can play each other. There's a 3 day limit between moves. So now, I can check our games....you know I had to start more than one, right? :) Anyway, now I can check in each day and have a pleasant surprise and play with my Mom.
So....for any takers out there here is my challenge: go to zooescape.com and create an account and then let's play! My user ID is PLsDaughter. :)
By the way, how cool is it that the site is zoo_escape? :) Escape the zoo of your day....good thing...but also zoos are good....and escapes are good. Three good things in one.
So let's play! :)
.......P.S. they also have sudoku and a word game (both are single player games, but it gives you something to do in another screen if you are playing multiple games and waiting for one of them to be ready for you..... :)
.........P.P.S. I'm not that good at this game, but I LOVE it.... I've already lost 3 games, and I'm about to loose 5 more unless one of the players doesn't make a move in the next 3 days and they they would forfeit. Anyway, come play, win---loose---or draw, it's fun.
My Mom found a site for backgammon games where we can play each other. There's a 3 day limit between moves. So now, I can check our games....you know I had to start more than one, right? :) Anyway, now I can check in each day and have a pleasant surprise and play with my Mom.
So....for any takers out there here is my challenge: go to zooescape.com and create an account and then let's play! My user ID is PLsDaughter. :)
By the way, how cool is it that the site is zoo_escape? :) Escape the zoo of your day....good thing...but also zoos are good....and escapes are good. Three good things in one.
So let's play! :)
.......P.S. they also have sudoku and a word game (both are single player games, but it gives you something to do in another screen if you are playing multiple games and waiting for one of them to be ready for you..... :)
.........P.P.S. I'm not that good at this game, but I LOVE it.... I've already lost 3 games, and I'm about to loose 5 more unless one of the players doesn't make a move in the next 3 days and they they would forfeit. Anyway, come play, win---loose---or draw, it's fun.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Pizza talk
So...in fitting with the post of a couple days ago...something unexpected happened in the middle of something expected. And when talking to one of my brothers, he said, 'well, your writing this down, right?' uuuuummmmm no I hadn't. So to tip my hat to him, here I am writing it down.
Today was my year end review with two of my bosses. (This is the expected part.) The unexpected part was that I received a promotion, a band increase, a title change and an Exceeds-Exceeds. The Exceeds/Exceeds is an increbibly hard thing to do. I knew I'd done a good job in 2009 but...to beat out everyone at my level, or to be in the top 2% is kind of mind blowing. My boss asked me how I think I did...I said meets/meets. She simply said, 'you know I disagree.' In the briefest of pauses my brain had already switched gears to recieve criticism and a 'do better' speech. Instead she threw the exceeds/exceeds at me and the rest as well. I had a pen in hand and was trying to write it all down...in shock I wasn't hearing a fraction of it. I had to ask her to repeat my title. Living paycheck to paycheck...I heard the money clearly enough. :)
I'm a top performer, I'm getting a raise effective 2/1/2010 and I'm now an AVP Consultant II Business Continuity. This is the second promotion and raise in a the span of a year. I've been in this company for just over a year and a half. (Unexpected).
I'm feeling that grace has been poured over me. I never pictured myself working where I do, or doing what I'm doing and yet, here I am. I think a lot of life is like that...it surprises you with where you end up, how you got there, and how it shapes you. The good and the bad.
(one of my own shots from 2009...I am truly tipping my hat to you J, our talk tonight meant a lot. Love you! Hope this one is as good as the others, but I'm ok if this is not... :>)
Today was my year end review with two of my bosses. (This is the expected part.) The unexpected part was that I received a promotion, a band increase, a title change and an Exceeds-Exceeds. The Exceeds/Exceeds is an increbibly hard thing to do. I knew I'd done a good job in 2009 but...to beat out everyone at my level, or to be in the top 2% is kind of mind blowing. My boss asked me how I think I did...I said meets/meets. She simply said, 'you know I disagree.' In the briefest of pauses my brain had already switched gears to recieve criticism and a 'do better' speech. Instead she threw the exceeds/exceeds at me and the rest as well. I had a pen in hand and was trying to write it all down...in shock I wasn't hearing a fraction of it. I had to ask her to repeat my title. Living paycheck to paycheck...I heard the money clearly enough. :)
I'm a top performer, I'm getting a raise effective 2/1/2010 and I'm now an AVP Consultant II Business Continuity. This is the second promotion and raise in a the span of a year. I've been in this company for just over a year and a half. (Unexpected).
I'm feeling that grace has been poured over me. I never pictured myself working where I do, or doing what I'm doing and yet, here I am. I think a lot of life is like that...it surprises you with where you end up, how you got there, and how it shapes you. The good and the bad.
(one of my own shots from 2009...I am truly tipping my hat to you J, our talk tonight meant a lot. Love you! Hope this one is as good as the others, but I'm ok if this is not... :>)
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