Giving a Shout Out

I've just picked up a book, one of my Sunday school classes is doing a study through it. And it is amazing...and the author has a beautiful way of turning a phrase and painting a picture. The hand of God is also in it...in the timing of when it came to me...and how and what will happen next will hopefully give Him joy and glory.

Anyhow, I felt compelled to put it up on my blog so my fellow friends and readers would have a chance to be intrigued and perchance go grab the book themselves, read it and we could discuss it in depth....something I like to do... :)

Chasing Daylight
Erwin Raphael McManus

ISBN 10: 0785281134
ISBN 13: 9780785281139

I've only just read chapter one....but even his acknowledgments were awesome. Here is a quote from the acknowledgments, "some moments are so big you cannot seize them by yourself...." and later, "...words cannot do justice to the level of gratitude I feel toward God who created us. What a gift He has given us. He created us to live, not simply to believe. To follow Him is to experience, to explore, to discover." Isn't that awesome?!
But in chapter one McManus talks about moments and I was enthralled...and I loved it. I have a feeling this book will be one that will be profound and amazing and if I could I'd buy everyone a copy and we'd sit and read it together...over cookies, and coffee or coke...and let the warmth of life flow between us all...all the roads we each have been on would converge in that room and what a beautiful vista that would be...and how awesome the stories we would tell as we shared and grew...and read a book together.

Sigh. If wishes were fishes we'd all need fins to swim in the ocean that would suddenly brim....or something like that...

Be well my friends and write soon. :)

Pieces Out Of Place

Sculpture: Leonardo Nierman, "Form In the Wind"

Pieces Out of Place

a shoe lay in the road today

dead center to the dashed line

my car sailed right over it

keeping me on course,

to work,

my mind collided into

the black worn canvas and white speckledly tattered laces

abandoned in a place

it shouldn't have been, the former occupant

long since gone, shoe forgotten,

yet I am bruised by the impact

still caught up,

intertwined by the displacement

woven close by

another discrepancy looms

like childhood dreams

in an adult life

when fancies should have been

packed up, and relegated to the closet

where the old toys now retire

instead of dead center

on the road of life

now presenting a choice

to roll over it

and continue

or to take it up

make it part of the journey

daring to believe

the capacity exists for one more shoe

distillation in process

a patient excercise of time

questions outside of classrooms

rarely have single answers

valued at the judgements

right or wrong

yet the precedent is set

how do we choose

when the lesson seems

to center on choice itself

when the freedom

within us is simply that itself

daily it is done though

as inconsequetial as driving over a displaced shoe,

only when the need arises

and we become the one limping

do we hunger for the balance

of two shoes on our feet as we walk,

hunger for the protection

of a little rubber and some canvas

against the roads of life

and the length of the journeys

to be traversed

juxtaposition stands before us,

simply another fork in the road,

as it were,

yet sometimes there exists more matter

more depth than that

and I find myself

in pieces,

searching for the other parts

as I journey home

discovering which hues match

the sections of me already in place

and where the occurance of

contrast and light

most strike...

even myself---

discovery and rediscovery revealing

the dichotomy of me

a piece out of place

in a place that is the only peace I've known

tangibly

but that isn't my sole reality

and I hunger for more

contact with Truth

to be moved more fully

by what seemingly is

a piece out of place...

a shoe in the road

and a choice I must make

The Perfect Word

The Perfect Word....ever give it a thought? Well I have. For instance...the title of my blogland home...I gave it a great deal of thought, I went on a quest...it is no small thing to name something.

For instance Hubert Humphrey went down as saying, "In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be." But who really wants to take the words of a politician? (No offense intended to the honest ones that may exist....)

Names are important, there are books upon books filled with possible baby names...and names are debated amongst potential mothers and potential fathers...some people have names already picked out should they bear children and will freely tell you of them...others will only tell you after the child is born, for many reasons...chief among them once the child is named who would dare afront the parents by scoffing, or ribaldly sneering at the choice of names...once the name is there it becomes the audience's job to make it fit n'cest pas? However, I'm off target and am on a tangent rather...

Tangents can be pleasant, as I feel this whole blog to be...a tangent...or rather a commemoration of the funny realities of life...or at least, upon occassion, my life.

I went searching for this perfect word for my blogland home, something that would encapsulate the place, and my purposes for it...and I remember turning to Latin...but it didn't fit...wrong language for my hopes...so I went instead to Italian. But I've always loved words...loved how they can be the bridges of communication, the absolutions, the balms, the elixirs of joy, the boldness of a moment summarized...the expressions however varied of what we see and what we feel.

Franz Kafka was able to more fully capture how words can thrill me or fill me with dread and why sometimes I find it very important to find the right one or right ones...and how it is a process, not an instantaneous occurance though sometimes I'm blessed by such inspiration. Anyhow, here is what Kafka would say of names of words, "Life's splendor forever lies in wait about each one of us in all its fullness, but veiled from view, deep down, invisible, far off. It is there though, not hostile, not reluctant, not deaf. If you summon it by the right word, by its right name, it will come."

So this blogland home and its naming was one of those moments for me...I searched for a way to summon and encapsulate my hopes for what it would be, a snapshot or a picture, a verbal pixellation, Rivelare, was the name, the word I found. Italian in origin, it means, and I apologize if my definition is sparse or slightly off to the native Italian speakers...all I can say in my defense is that on the computer and with a dictionary is where I found it, if you know the fullness of the meaning feel free to enlighten me. Again I am diverting...

E.M. Forester pointed out more succinctly that words have two functions, information and creation.

Rivelare...the informative definition, paraphrased would be: to reveal, uncover, make known, to show, to allow to be seen, to unfold. And in essence that it what I'd hope to create...a place where I take a risk, and share my thoughts, in an unguarded fashion...to allow myself and my random inspirations to be seen, my griefs, my joys, my whatevers...since by nature I am a very private and cautious person...this was a bold declaration--a motto...a carpe diem of pen and page and wit and words...and pictures...

Now if my internet could stay in a functional capacity and be what it should I'd be closer to achieving it and less likely to forget my brilliance, my ephipanies, my definitions or my words...

Perfection then becomes a process, a discovery and a rediscovery...like a poem or a painting that you need to drink from again and again, and still find at the end...a comfort, that it to fit, momentarily...it to be divine, to walk away and know it was right, not distilled by time or absence.

Perish

As a little girl, whenever a story was told, whether fictional, personal or just humorous...I always wanted more detail, more of the story. As I've grown, that hasn't changed much. I still love a good (LONG) story...there are few that I don't, but that is a comment in and of itself isn't it? And there are times I look for the story within the story no matter which one it is, I think about the depth of the story, what's beneath the surface, what's the context, what changes it, what influences it...and so on. The reason I bring that up is that today in church the sermon was on John 3:16. And for someone like me who's life was utterly transformed when I really understood that Jesus LOVED me, not just because He had to, but because He chose to. I struggled to understand that for years. I mean, why?! What makes me so special, in fact, given that I knew He knew all the deepest and darkest and was not remotely fooled by any of my facades I really had to wonder. So you might ask yourself why someone like me would roll my eyes, or bite back a groan when the sermon today was to talk about John 3:16. This verse is widely quoted, but the pastor today pointed out that not everyone might have the same background so I will put the verse here, then continue with my story for today.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." NASB.

(Side note, today when the Pastor was pointing out that not everyone has the same background, that some when hearing that might think John, is just a man, on a field and he's on his 3rd down and has 16 yards to go...that made me smile especially since he extrapolated that to the verse...until Jesus, John 3:16 was telling us, we had already been knocked down and back 3 times and still had a long way to go...but here is where it changes.) (The other reason it tickles me is that I have two brothers who love football and whenever there is a reference to it, I immediately think of them and they make me smile. I love them dearly. So already the sermon, despite the topic, might not be so bad after all.)

One of the reasons I usually groan when people throw out this verse is because I miss the context when people give it...the verse before, the verse after. For instance Jeremiah 29:11 is a wonderful verse, one of my favorites in fact, but I usually also include verses 12, 13 and 14 with it. The same is true of John 3:16, I do like it, don't get me wrong, it is one of my favorites, but I would also have included with it verses ...well this is the story of Nicodemus so I have a hard time cutting it off, or shortening it, so I really would say verses 1-21. If I had to shorten my favorite part near verse 16, I would say 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 and 18.

So today I was sitting in church, waiting to see where the sermon would go, and just how much depth it would cover. I was surprised. First, I needed the reminder of the depth of Jesus and God's love for me...but one of the points that captivated me, caught me and had me thinking and not just refreshed by the reminder as so many other sermons in the past have done is when the Pastor reached the word perishing.

You see the Pastor had been going through the verse, word by word. He told us someone once had characterized this verse as "the alphabet of grace"....the verse has 26 words in it, like the alphabet. I thought that was interesting, I'd never heard that and so enjoyed that tidbit.

But when the Pastor reached the word "perish"...which if you go back and look this word is really close to the end...so you might think I hadn't been paying the attention I should have to the sermon. (And maybe to a degree you'd be right, but I think once he made this point, it immediately snapped the other points he had been making back into place for me.)

His point...and this is a very loose translation as his point sparked a train of thought in my head and now they are intertwined for me. He was talking about heaven and hell, and the reason why Jesus felt it was so necessary to come, live and die for us...because without Him we were down, and out, dead goners...and that would mean hell for us...and hell is not just the cessation of existence but rather existence without Him. The Pastor had us stop and think about the word perish. I forget his exact wording but it equates to this 'perish isn't just a matter of 'poof' it's gone...perish is to expire but remain.' Immediately what came to my mind was the expiration labels on food, the perish date. For instance milk...there is always a date stamped on the side of the carton foretelling when it will go bad, when in a sense it will perish...and if you don't drink it all and two weeks rolls by and you open your fridge the milk is still there...most likely perished but present. It is in the process of slowly rotting or whatever its called when milk gets sour...and eventually grows fuzz. And instantaneously for me the concept of hell expanded for me. I've always thought of hell, not so much as a fiery inferno, but rather a place separate from Jesus, cut off from love, cut off, isolated, beyond goodness, kindness, grace, love, friendship and fellowship...etc. But suddenly I had this graphic image of a soul, cut off from its Maker, perishing for an eternity.

And just as I was grappling with this image and feeling like my hands might just be wrapped around it the Pastor says, 'if someone enters hell it will be over the crucified body of Christ.' Now there's an image for you. Christ, crucified, and sprawled out before the gates of hell...and a soul having to step through Him to make it to that place of perishing. The Pastor went back...reiterated the poignancy of love, a love that was so great, so compelling, the Creator of the universe held onto the nails in His hands as He was suspended on a cross to interpose...to exchange, to replace our sins for His innocence...to interpose Himself, His blood poured out for the state we were in, perishing, right where we were on earth and destined to perish for eternity. The Pastor pointed out the deep hunger that is in all of us to be loved, to find love, to be filled with it...we crave it, and many seek it under every rock and crevice without ever looking up and realizing who holds out His hands to them ready to embrace them and show them the way home...the way to love, to grace to forgiveness, to life...LIFE EVERLASTING.

How loved are we? We are SO loved. I don't know if I can honestly say that I've ever thought of the word 'so' as a stellar adverb. But, today the word didn't just seem to amplify the verb love, but rather also show the way...show the action...we were SO loved...

And who is 'we'? It is whoever...yes, whoever believes in Jesus...it is an open invitation, it's open to all comers. Whoever...no prerequisites, no need to dress in your Sunday best, any time any where...just believe in Jesus and you are that whoever, I am that whoever. Whoever...it is all encompassing...by its nature it wants to include you, it is ready to accept you...this is the we that is SO loved. A grouping of people who may not have any other thing in common, we are transformed and defined as a group, as a body, as one, related, we...WE were SO LOVED...WE are SO loved....

So loved. Not just a quantity of love that Jesus has for us, but the way He loves us. He left heaven, He became man, He knew what it was to stub His toe, to be dirty and tired, and harangued, and to have people mock Him, scorn Him, want to use Him, who thought just who He was and what they thought He should do...He knew what we know...life on this broken earth...life that is full of hardships, disappointments, disease, despair, death, both rainy days and sunny ones. He knew fair weather and foul. He knew long roads and a good supper with friends. But that isn't all He knew. He looked at us, and so loved us, that He gave Himself, He chose to go to a hill called Cavalry, He was brutally beaten, He cried tears of blood, He was crucified...and it didn't even stop there. He descended into hell. He spent three days in hell, the place we had no chance of escaping without His love. But just when you would throw in the towel, give up, He arose. He now is on the throne, in Heaven interceding for you and me...ready with salvation...ready with eternal life...life free from the heartache we know here, free from the worry and the pressure and the hunger, not just of body but of soul...He has life ready for us, everlasting life...no need to worry about the perishing date anymore.

I was reminded of love today...a love that isn't just merely fuzzy feelings, the right words, and romantic persuasions, but a love that truly sees...sees me as I am, faults and all and is ready to walk the long road with me, forgive me, guide me, love me through the good days, and love me through the days I make it a challenge to love me at all....a love that is committed to me, a love I can count on through thick and thin, rain or shine, a love that opens up life everlasting for me, not just when I die, but in the here and now. A love that can't be bought or earned, or kept, or deserved. A love that is open to whoever...a love that isn't in limited supply, and isn't cheapened when shared but rather enriched...an enriching love that unites strangers as well as family and friends together. (Whew...I don't have to worry about whether I'll fit in...or if I'll have something perfect to say...) I can come just as I am and receive...just like whoever else...to know the love my soul craves, to be loved, and respond in love...even if it is hard to understand such love, it is true...I am so loved...a love full of depth and details/actions...

John 3:16 "For God so greatly loved the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life." ~AMPLIFIED translation

...................................and just in case, you want a bigger picture:.......................

3:(13-18) "No one has ascended into heaven, but He who descended from heaven: the Son of Man. As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up; so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God." NASB.

And for further reflection...in case a word by word break down will refresh your eyes, your soul and your understanding of the One who so loves you...may you find renewal:

AMPLIFIED 3:13-18

"And yet no one has ever gone up to heaven, but there is One Who has come down from heaven--the Son of Man [Himself], Who is (dwells, has His home) in heaven.

And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert [on a pole], so must [so it is necessary that] the Son of Man be lifted up [on the cross], in order that everyone who believes in Him [who cleaves to Him, trusts in Him and relies on Him] may not perish, but have eternal life and [actually] live forever!

For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

For God did not send the Son into the world in order to judge (to reject, to condemn, to pass sentence on) the world, but that the world might find salvation and be made safe and sound through Him.

He who believes in Him [who clings to, trusts in, relies on Him] is not judged [he who trusts in Him never comes up for judgement: for him there is no rejection, no condemnation--he incurs no damnation]; but he who does not believe (cleave to, rely on, trust in Him) is judged already [he has already been convicted and has already received his sentence] because he has not believed in and trusted in the name of the only begotten Son of God. [He is condemned for refusing to let his trust rest in Christ's name.]

Dear Father God, it is my sincere prayer that hearts everywhere will feel Your love afresh and believe in Jesus, and find the love their hearts and souls have so longed for from their first breath. I ask you to awaken the love within us, and I am so thankful that you first SO loved me; now I can say, I love you so.

Face of Love

It's been awhile since I last wrote...lots has happened, but I think my internet is finally not having issues. It has been a hard week for me, lots of minidrama, and below the belt spiritual attacks and suffice it to say I've cried four or five times, and lost my keys once. For those of you who know me, that is a fairly large deal.

Tonight, though I was blessed by a spiritual love tap, reminding me how much God loves me, and that got me to thinking of love in general...what it means and why we do it. You see, not only have I been having a rough week, but those I consider family, that is to say my dear friends have also been having rough moments and rough weeks. Earlier today I was trying to figure out what I could possibly say to help comfort one of my friends and the most recent surprise...and found myself laughing at myself...in a somewhat hysterical sense...I had/have absolutely nothing. Sometimes life is just hard, plain, simple, brutal and sharp.

But at least twice this week I have also seen the face of Christ on the face of my friends, my family, and they have taught me a lesson in love. One of them, N3, had an abusive father as a child...and she told me this week that she loves him, after years of hatred and distance and the peace she made that allowed her not to love him, but to move beyond what had happened and find love...the good kind. Yet, she called this week, frustrated she cares for him and the sorrows that have entered his life. I found myself humbled for her love, a love that was able to encompass forgiveness, and the past, and the present, leaving hope in the horizon of the future. I was floored, but not really amazed given who I was talking to. After all I've known for years her heart, and have known the grace in her soul.

Another friend, recently blessed and placed in my life, a kindred spirit...a wonderful woman, a beautiful soul. She gave me a gift this week, and I wasn't expecting it, it in fact floored me...it wasn't the size or the cost...and there are several layers in that...but it was humbling. Because in her actions I felt the love of Christ again...who because of grace...that unmerited, undeserved reality, interposed his precious blood and reached out in love to a broken soul like myself. She too has been having a rough time, particularly where her mom is concerned. But here's the thing, she too has seen spiritual growth that enables her to look at the actions and reactions of her own mom towards herself...and see not the person hurting her, but the soul that is lost, My friend, with a deep awarness of that loss her mom has shrugged her shoulders at the accussations and hurtful events and words that have been flung at her. In her eyes was almost the pleading cry that no matter the personal cost her mom come to know Hope, the only hope she has of leaving this life knowing what love is, or who Love is...and being transformed by that love. I was humbled. Again.

This week has seen people near me fling hurts my direction and I haven't quite been up to the snuff of my friends, my inner circle...my family. (Maybe that's why I keep them around...j/k, but it is a decided perk.)

However, I found myself questioning why we love the people we love, especially those who are loved hurt us, disappoint us, do stupid things, or perpetually dish out the actions that rend us emotionally, cause us to weep tears of the soul. and I felt a breath blow through my brain, to show me a truth. One of the reasons we love those we do, beyond reason, circumstances, and all of the above is because it allows us a SMALL glimpse of what it was like for Christ, our Lord, to love us.

All life paused at the aftershock of such an amazing and humbling truth. If we can love through it all...then what does that say about Christ's love. Love that stood in the gap, love that placed Himself between us and what we deserved, nailed to a cross with hell yawning wide to grasp us and show us the real meaning of pain and agony. He volunteered to take the place between a rock and a hard place. Most of us end up there at one point in our lives, if not frequently. We rant and complain and in general try to extricate ourselves as quickly as possible. He stood up, and stood in, and withstood. His is the face of love, and He is looking right at you and right at me.

And He placed enternity in our hearts and it winks back at us, within us, and sometimes it is from a face we already love.

He is the strength when we are weak and I know this, so much so, this week when He alone is holding me together. And once again I hear Him whispering in my heart, "I love you." And yes I am humbled, and overwhelmed and thankful, and....I can only hope to extend this love, even a fraction of it...especially to those I love.

To see six Inches below the surface

I find it so amazing, the beauty of the world...how intricately it has been designed, even the way my own life plays out. For instance, just recently I was reading through a scene in a book I'm writing and the characters are bantering back and forth, and due to their situation they are trying to encourage each other about the unexpected changes they are facing being a good thing. One character focused on Hebrews 11:1, the other one in the scene was more struck by Isaiah 40:31. Today in church...the sermon's focal point was Isaiah 40:28-31. 58:11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." & 23:40:28-31 "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." So I found myself searching today, for the words to clarify the feelings within, the questions that are resounding through my head like the deep, and trying to seek the patience and the peace to wait on the Lord. Today in church, it wasn't so much what the Pastor said, in fact it was less what he said, instead I would say it was because I was waiting, without words myself that in that quiet place within I found the companion of my soul, my Savior, waiting beside me, whose very hands formed the waters, who called out the stars one by one, name by name, He was there with me, looking into the very waters I was...and His touch in that moment...and I was transformed, and it became less about seeing below the surface, and instead experiencing anew the euphoria of discovery, the awe that stikes you as you round a bend and find a beautiful vista that beckons to something deep within and you know what you behold was created just for you in that moment. So the deep mysteries still team beneath the surface...but for now...there is the water, the surface, this moment and the discovery...the epiphany in the waiting...

Glimmers and First Flight

Here I am...the first entry...no plans for grandeur or brilliance, rather I find myself in a simpler state. Existence. This is my first entry of a blog like nature. I'm in the middle of a move, and my internet is best described as sketchy...or at least the connection is of a volatile nature. But a brilliant Poetess captured my intrigue when describing her own blog and the reasons for it, and today I'm drawn, I feel this building need, and the defition of its subject is a bit vague...more closely related to gazing at an ocean from a boat...the water has color, shape, motion, but you know in the depths of you, if you could just look a little harder you would see...see the dolphin below, the silly fishes dart and dive together like a chorus line, see the harmony and the life teaming beneath, and while the surface of the ocean and how it fits into creation is breathtaking you hang on, stare harder and wait for your eyes to see...to even catch a glimmer.

I hope to post a picture later, but for now I must fly.