It's funny...you think a million, a billion thoughts a day...and inauspiciously one of those thoughts pops into your head and it arrests you in a millionth of a second. It's not just a run of the mill thought, it's a story, or a poem, and it starts unfolding like a spring bud to a new season. You stand there, the only witness, and in part you feel amazed--this story, poem, or inspiration came to you...and in part relieved--it's been a long time, and excited--because despite the fact that this is your head, you are still an accessory to this idea, this unfolding, this existence that is complete without your input, as well as transfixed...and then lastly, instantaneously aware of all that stands between you and the transcription. Every pen, paper, or computer now stand as beacons in your spacial awareness...you and this idea, the center point, while a ticking clock jumps in to the fray to start the clock on how fast you can move from this moment to the nearest writing device...be it pen, or lipstick, or keyboard. You also have this paralysis that occurs..because you don't want to loose this gem within you before it's ready to let you run, or you risk it becoming so much dust, a flimsy could-have-been. So you wait, held in custody to an idea trying to bequeath itself upon you, which snuck up on you, waltzed up and said 'hello'. You breath in...preparing to run, while trying to capture every crystalline facet of this invader...and haunting you with the dare to try and sketch it fast enough once you're seated so that if this inauspicious sentence that ran through your brain like just another person in the subway of your streaming thoughts turns out to be much much much more than you ever imagined. And, yet, even if it's nothing more than ten lines, or even if it's eight million lines, it is enough just as it is...and in that moment you are richer than any king, or queen.
Today it's a soft 68 degrees, or perhaps 72. The cool spring air is gently wafting around me and through the wind chime, there are yellow butterflies dancing across the lawn looking for flowers or clover left uneaten by the bunnies from yesterday's foraging. In the near distance, a dove coos. The sun is slipping between gentle white clouds, and when the sun is not playing coy it causes the fountain to run a gentle trickle (the fountain is powered with a solar panel, so the split second of a shy sun has it silenced). I'm sitting on a rocking chair in my backyard, with my laptop and more than a zillion things that need to be done...but for this moment, this instance of humble awe, and excitement that had to be acknowledged. I had a unambiguous slip of a thought ease into my day, a story, and it's been sooooooo very long...and it's like someone surprised me with a present. And you open the box...and there's more in it that you ever thought, and it is an incredible thing that I do not want to take for granted.
I'm carving out some time to sketch this story down. It still feels pretty weighty. At first I thought it was a snippet. However, who knows it may be much, much, more... and I sigh in a mixture of contentment for the company the story brings, and in frustration...there aren't enough days like this one where I can write these days. I have many stories held captive in my head, captive to demands I cannot ignore like paying the bills, and a job, and cleaning the house, and watering the lawn, and a fence that is creaking a warning to me--that hey, shore me up or be prepared to replace me....and staying in contact with friends and family....and...and...and.....we all have these lists....lists that run our days...and yes, I want to break free, make a run for it...and go on a journey with the stories inside me, to feel them pour out of my fingertips into the keyboard, or onto a page with a "fun" pen....to drink in days like this where the breeze giggles, and the sun flirts, and the words run like water from a mountain lake down into a mountain river...and through the valley...
How precious are these moments. How precious are these days. How precious is this life...and how utterly enthralling.
